Absolution
by FloatingAmoeba
Summary: After a string of murders, the team traces the killer back to 1986, to the 'first' victim. Tempers are running high, and the case is barely underway when things suddenly get personal. Set early Season 3. Rated M for content and eventual smut. Lilly/Scotty
1. Degradation

A/N I know, I know, I'm supposed to be working on 'Somebody Like Us'. And I am. But I got sidetracked, and this appeared from nowhere! I really hope you guys aren't too mad at me! :) I figure at least now you've got something to read in between times. It's right at the very beginning of Season 3, right after The Woods. But it has nothing to do with that whole storyline...Also, I decided to rate the whole thing as 'M' for Mature. You'll see why later...So anyway,** enjoy! **On with the story!

Disclaimer: Hopefully by now you will have worked out which parts belong to me! If not, just to make you happy, nothing of great importance belongs to me.

* * *

**deg·ra·da·tion**

**1. The act or process of degrading.**

**2. The state of being degraded; degeneration.**

**3. A decline to a lower condition, quality, or level.**

*******

Nick Vera threw himself down in the seat at the break room table, groaning.

"What kinda sick pervert beats up a ten year old girl for no reason?" he said angrily. Will Jeffries rubbed a tired hand over his face.

"No idea, Nicky. This is why I hate catching hot ones."

Vera looked towards the side room, where Scotty could be seen taping photos to the whiteboard. The faces of eight young girls stared back, their happy smiled a stark reminder of what those families had lost.

"Is Valens alright?" the burly detective asked, his voice tainted by a rarely heard compassion. Jeffries followed his line of vision.

"He's still walking on eggshells around Lil. But he's also fightin' some sorta Catholic guilt over what happened with George," he said. Vera frowned.

"Remind me how that was his fault?"

His colleague chuckled.

"It wasn't, but Valens has this idea that maybe if he hadn't slept with Chris, maybe if he'd been a better friend, then Lil wouldn't have gone up in that attic."

"Well, sleepin' with your partner's sister ain't exactly a smart move," Vera muttered. Stillman came out from his office, walking through the empty bullpen to join them. He sat down with a sigh, wearily removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes.

"Hey, boss," Jeffries greeted in a deep voice. The lieutenant smiled slightly, and looked towards his youngest detective.

"Is he still staring at that board?"

Vera chuckled.

"Oh yeah."

* * *

Scotty Valens was brooding. He had been ever since his partner had flown out of the Homicide department without so much as a glance in his direction. Sighing heavily, he stuck the final photo up on the board, and stood back to stare at it blankly. The rage inside him finally boiling over, he slammed his fist into the wall over and over again, not even flinching at the pain in spreading through his knuckles. Lilly had flinched. When she'd been standing outside after shooting George, and had turned her head to see them standing there, she'd flinched. She thought he hadn't noticed.

The pain in his hand finally caught up with him, and Scotty swore loudly, remembering the empty look on the faces of the dead girls. He'd seen that look before. Recently, it seemed like he couldn't escape from that look.

Slamming his fist into the wall for a final time, Scotty stomped back to his desk, grabbing his cell phone. He punched the numbers in, glaring viciously at the screen and ignoring the concerned looks from the break room.

"Hello?"

"Am I not good enough for you?"

Lilly sighed in relief.

"Scotty."

"Yeah, Lil," he snapped, "Scotty. You know, your **partner**."

"Why are you shouting? Has something happened?"

"Dammit, Lil!" Scotty exploded angrily. She paused, waiting for a moment.

"You're mad at me," she stated softly. Scotty laughed bitterly.

"Damn right I'm mad at you!"

"Well maybe if you stop yelling at me, you could tell me why?" Lilly replied, irritation evident in her voice.

"Oh, you wanna know why I'm mad? I'm mad because somethin' is goin' on with you, an' you won't tell me what's wrong!"

"What exactly do you want to hear, Scotty?"

"I wanna hear you admit that you need me!" he yelled. A vast ocean of tense silence stretched between them. Eventually, Lilly took a deep breath.

"I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow."

"No, Lil, wait..."

The sharp click resounded in his ears, and Scotty snapped his cell phone shut, pressing it to his forehead.

"Crap."

Throwing the phone back onto his desk, Scotty tried to escape the feeling of wanting to draw Lilly into his arms and never let go. It was like trying to chase a rainbow- you know it's there, but it always seems to be just out of reach. Physical contact was something they avoided like it was the plague. He could count the number of times he'd touched her on one hand.

The handshake when they'd first met.

The hand on her shoulder, pushing her back down into her seat before he launched over the table at the first mention of Elissa.

The others refused to spring to memory. Scotty rubbed his hand through his hair, feeling the steady thump of his heart in his chest. _Fuck. Could this day get any worse? We have this fucked up case that's still hot, I've pissed Lil off, an' now she probably hates me more than before. _Stillman stuck his head out of the break room.

"Valens! There's a cup of coffee with your name on it!"

Sighing once again, Scotty nodded, leaving the white boxes on the table and moving to join his colleagues. Jeffries and Vera exchanged glances at the dejected slump of his shoulders.

"How can you guys be so damn calm?" Scotty snapped, barely restraining himself from slamming the door.

"Valens..."

"You're jus' sittin' there like nothin' has happened. There's some sick pervert out there beatin', an' stranglin', and doin' God knows what to little girls, and you're all jus' sittin' around drinkin' coffee!" he yelled. Stillman barely blinked at the outburst.

"Sit down before you fall down, Valens."

Breathing heavily, the younger detective closed his eyes, sinking down onto the sofa.

"Sorry," he muttered. The others chuckled.

"How's your hand?" Jeffries asked pointedly. A faint smile tugged at his lips, and he shrugged.

"I guess it hurts."

A cold lump landed in his lap, and Scotty opened his eyes. Vera grinned, nodding towards the icepack.

"Trust me. It helps," the burly detective said. His colleague chuckled, gently pressing the ice to his fist. After waiting for a few moments, and watching the tortured thoughts brewing behind Scotty's eyes, Jeffries cleared his throat.

"Hey, Scotty. How's Lil doing?"

"She seems a bit...preoccupied," Stillman added seriously.

"This case is a bitch," Scotty said quietly, "maybe she's jus' feelin' down."

"If you say so," Vera muttered, scoffing quietly. The young male detective shrugged.

"I'm pretty sure she's doin' OK," he lied.

"Pretty sure?" Stillman pushed firmly. Scotty sighed heavily.

"OK, no, she ain't fine. She ain't been fine since she killed George. He stripped all of her down, an' left nothin' behind, but I ain't exactly in a position to help her, am I?"

"But, Scotty..."

"Why are we even talkin' about this anyway?" Scotty snapped, "I screwed up. I got it. An' I lost my best friend 'cause o' that, so maybe we can just leave it?"

Jeffries sighed, exchanging sad glances with Stillman.

"You ain't lost her, Valens," Vera said, his voice uncharacteristically serious, "you just sorta...misplaced her."

Scotty shrugged morosely.

"Yeah, well. They might as well mean the same, 'cause Lil hates me."

* * *

A long time ago, he'd been a pleasant little boy, chasing after pleasant little girls. Now he was an unpleasant middle-aged man, chasing after little girls.

He'd corner them. It wasn't hard. Then the punches came. The first one always gave him that...rush. That rush of excitement that sent heat down to his darkest parts. They never fought back. Only one fought back.

The clock was ticking.

Over, and over, and over...tick...tock...tick...tock. He was waiting. He'd never forgotten what their screams sounded like. Screams were like fingerprints...each one of them different. There were the ones who tried to stay quiet, thinking maybe he'd let them go if they didn't cry out. He never let them go...

...unless he made a mistake.

So here he was, waiting. Tick, tock. Waiting for the right moment to rectify that mistake.

* * *

Unbeknownst to her partner, Lilly was also drowning in misery, and her argument with Scotty hadn't done anything to lessen the ache in her chest. With an overdue sigh of relief, the blonde detective collapsed onto her bed, drawing her cotton covered legs up under the sheets. She sunk into the pile of pillows, and her eyelids fluttered shut. _Finally, _she thought, stretching up to switch off the light.

Sleep had never come quickly to Lilly Rush, and it seemed tonight was no different. The memory of the eight murdered girls made bile rise up in her throat, their screams echoing in her ears, and her eyes shot open again. _I guess there's no sleep for me tonight._

The detective tried to shake the dark, heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach. As she sat up and switched the light back on, Scotty's words reappeared in her mind.

"_I wanna hear you admit that you need me!"_

Fighting back tears, she reached for the case file that sat on her bedside table.

"No. No, I don't need you," she whispered to herself. Flipping the file open, Lilly rubbed her tired eyes and began to read.

"Susan Milbank, aged ten..."

* * *

Stirring his spoon around in the mug, Scotty watched the coffee swirling round.

"So how'd we get these cases exactly?" he asked, frowning down into his drink. Stillman folded his arms.

"Mrs Sylvia Arnold, mother of the third victim. Heard about the Caitlyn Jeffers case. Connected the dots."

Vera shook his head.

"Ain't a surprise she heard about it. It's been all over the damn news."

Jeffries chuckled.

"You mean you actually watch the news?"

"Ouch! Cuttin' me real deep, Will."

Scotty waved a hand in the air, setting his mug down and standing up.

"Yo, shut up!"

The police scanner crackled from the centre of the table.

"...possible officer down. Gunshots fired. Bus needed to…"

The radio lost signal, fading out and then back.

"…repeat, squad needed to a house fire, 27 West Street…"

His face turning pale, Stillman turned to Scotty, finding his young detective already halfway out of the department. Vera watched him sprint through the doors.

"What's his problem?"

Jeffries frowned, turning to his boss in horrified realisation. The words stuck in his throat as he opened his mouth to speak.

"27 West? Isn't that…?"

Stillman nodded.

"That's Lilly's place."

* * *

OMG, did I just leave that chapter with a cliffhanger?! What's the world coming to? ;) I forgot to mention at the top of the page that this will eventually be Lilly/Scotty, but there's a whole load of stuff that's planning to get in the way first. I really hope ya'll will take a moment to leave a review! Think of it as a birthday present for Kathryn Morris!


	2. Mechanization

A/N I know you all hate cliffhangers, so after The Worst Day Ever, I got to work on rectifying my mistake! :D You'll all be pleased to know there is no cliffhanger at the end of this chapter! It is sorta full of angst and drama, though. It's kinda rushed, but I really hope I got it OK. Anyway, read and review! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: If you haven't heard of 'em, they're purely figments of my imagination. If you have heard of them, then they're still figments of my imagination, just not purely.

* * *

**mech·a·nize**

**1. ****To make automatic or unspontaneous actions; render routine or monotonous.**

**2. ****To produce by or as if by machines.**

*******

When a disaster happens, be it big or small, the first thing you do is call the person you love. They may be on the other side of the country, may not even know there's been a disaster. But you call them anyway.

And every mother dreads that phone call. The one that starts "Mom, we're OK, but...", or even worse, the one that starts "Mama, I'm in trouble..."

As people, people with hearts, with minds, with feeling, we strive to succeed. To make the most of everything we attempt, and if at first we don't succeed, we feel compelled to just give up. Happiness is not a matter of good fortune or worldly possessions. It's a mental attitude. It comes from appreciating what we have, instead of being miserable about what we don't have. It's so simple—yet so hard for the human mind to comprehend.

But as Scotty was realising, happiness came with a price. And that fear of having something you cherish taken away could never quite be put into words.

He saw the smoke from three blocks away. Turning into Lilly's street, he saw the house, surrounded by fire trucks and police cars. _Jesus Christ…_

Scotty flew from his car as if the Devil himself was on his tail. He almost collapsed with relief at the sight of a figure with white blonde hair sitting on the kerb. Lilly scowled up at the EMT, swatting his hand away from the cut on her head. The medical officer rolled his eyes, futilely offering up the oxygen mask. Seeing her partner running towards her, Lilly felt her heart jump and her eyes widen. She hugged the blanket tighter around her.

"What are you doing here?"

He crouched down beside her, his eyes searching for any sign of major injury.

"Are you hurt? Did he hurt you? What happened? Are you OK? Did he…?"

His questions were cut off by his partner's growl of protest as the EMT took advantage of Lilly's momentary distraction. He dabbed at the wound on her forehead. Scotty sat down on the cold ground, anxiously waiting for his partner to speak.

"Why are you here, Scotty?" she murmured, giving up in her struggle with the paramedic.

"Why wouldn't I be here, Lil?" he replied softly. She shivered against the cold, and he tenderly tucked the blanket into the crooks of her arms.

"Is Boss here?"

"No. He's making sure the best forensics team is working this. I said we'd go back to the po..."

Lilly straightened suddenly, her eyes wide.

"My cats! They're still inside! Oh, God, please don't…"

Her partner placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"Relax, Lil. I'll see if I can get 'em."

"Their names are…" she called after him.

"Tripod and Olivia. I know."

Jogging back to the wreckage, Scotty caught up with a fire fighter. Recognising the man from his days at West, the detective sped up.

"Hey, Matt!"

The guy turned, wiping a hand over his sooty brow.

"Heard you might show up. You got one heck of a partner, man," he said. Scotty smiled slightly.

"Yeah?"

"When we got here, Rush is sitting outside, the house is in flames. You spoken to the EMT's yet?"

The detective frowned.

"No. Why?" he asked curiously. Matt looked over his shoulder, and Scotty followed his gaze to meet Lilly's glare.

"I don't know if I should be telling you this," the fire fighter said uncertainly.

"Please, Matty," Scotty pleaded, "otherwise I ain't gonna know."

Matt sighed.

"OK. She fought with her attacker. He won. Whacked her over the head with a side lamp."

Scotty took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly.

"Keep goin'."

"EMT's say that the mix of exhaustion and pain made her pass out," the overall clad man said slowly, watching guilt play across his friend's face. A paramedic appeared beside them.

"Detective Valens?"

"That's me."

"Detective Rush has suffered a serious blow to the back of the head."

"So why's she still sittin' on the concrete? Shouldn't she be headin' to the hospital or somethin'?" Scotty said angrily.

"That's exactly the problem," the EMT said in frustration, "she won't go."

Scotty sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Is there any reason that she needs to go to hospital?" he asked dejectedly.

"She needs twenty-four hour observation, painkillers, and..."

"If I take her home and give her some Aspirin, will she still have to go?"

The paramedic puffed up his chest, and the male detective fought the urge to pummel the smirk off his face.

"Detective, you are not qualified to..."

"Answer my question," Scotty growled.

"As long as you promise to bring her in as soon as you think something's wrong, then no, there is no reason why Detective Rush could not go home with you."

Matt grinned in relief, seeing his friend deflate beside him. Scotty nodded.

"Thanks," he mumbled. The EMT smiled sadly.

"I'd just take her home, Valens. Take her home."

He nodded again, watching as the paramedic went back to Lilly, who's glare had lessened slightly.

"I will."

"Scotty, seriously, man," Matt said, "Rush has always been nice to us, so look after her, OK?"

"Ain't plannin' on doin' anythin' else. Hey, you seen a couple of cats get outta there?" Scotty asked uncertainly. Matt shook his head.

"You better hope they found their own way out, man, 'cause there ain't nothin' left in there."

Scotty swore loudly, running a hand through his hair. The fireman gave him a sympathetic smile, and walked away.

"Tripod! Olivia!" the detective called desperately. _Stupid cats. They ain't gonna come to me. They don't even know who I am. Stupid cats… _Just when he was about to turn away, a plaintive mew reached his ears. Feeling his heart jump, Scotty turned back, breathing a sigh of relief. Tripod limped out of the darkness, closely followed by the ginger tabby. Scooping both cats into his arms, the male detective sighed in relief. Olivia mewed dejectedly, sitting comfortably in his arms.

"You're jus' lucky that Lil wouldn't leave without you."

* * *

Apart from being seriously disgruntled, the cats had suffered no other damage from the fire.

"Detective Rush?"

Lilly stood up, mustering up all her strength and providing a weak smile.

"Hey, Mara. What's up?" she asked wearily. The young woman smiled nervously.

"I was wonderin' if ya'll wanted me to look after the cats for you? You know, why ya'll are findin' whoever did this?"

Scotty heard his partner begin to protest, and smoothly stepped forward.

"That would be great. Thanks."

"No problem," Mara said, scooping the cats up from the pavement. The blonde detective couldn't be bothered to argue. All she wanted was to curl up in her bed. _No wait! I don't have a fucking bed anymore._

"What happened, Lil?"

She looked up at him, and Scotty caught the brief shadow of fear that flitted across her face.

"I, uh, was…in bed. Looking at the file. I heard…" Her voice faltered. Instinctively, Scotty reached out to touch her arm. His heart fell as he noticed the tears building at the corner of her eyes.

"Oh, Lil…" he breathed. She looked away, gasping slightly as she surveyed the smouldering mess that she used to call home.

"He burnt down my house, Scotty," she said in a small voice.

"I know," he replied. Lilly took a deep breath, fighting back the tears with everything she had left. Scotty felt his heart break a little with every drop the threatened to spill, and he gently wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"Come on. Let's get out of here."

"And go where, Scotty? I have no-where to go!"

"So stay with me."

The blonde's eyes widened.

"What?"

Scotty shrugged.

"Stay with me. I've got space," he repeated. Lilly shook her head.

"I can't stay with you."

"Lil, someone burnt your house down. Tried to kill you. Please. If you ain't gonna do it for you…at least do it for me."

His partner was silent for a while. Eventually, she looked up at him, her eyes burning in frustration.

"I guess I don't have a choice then."

* * *

Shutting the locker door, Scotty handed her his hooded sweatshirt, watching as she gingerly pulled it over her head. He didn't miss her wince as she raised her arms above her head. He didn't miss the soft sniffs that gave away her tears in the car ride over either.

Stillman felt his heart sink to his stomach as they walked into the Homicide department, and Jeffries and Vera felt relief like never before. But their reprieve was short lived when everything about their female colleague screamed 'Don't touch'. Scotty saw them disappear into the break room. Moving slowly, Lilly stopped outside the side room, looking through at the whiteboard covered in photos. He touched her elbow. Was he allowed to touch her?

Lilly tore her gaze away from the window, looking up at him. She drew her hands into the sleeves of his jersey, awkwardly moving closer beside him. Scotty glanced across at her curiously.

"I need you to do me a favour," she said softly. He arched an eyebrow. Lilly never asked for favours- did them for other people, yes, but never asked for them herself.

"Anythin', Lil."

And Scotty found that he meant it. At that moment, there was nothing he wouldn't have done for the enigmatic blonde standing uncertainly by his side.

"I...I haven't had a chance to eat, but Boss won't..."

"What do you want, Lil?" Scotty interrupted with a grin. Lilly offered him a tiny smile in return.

"Turkey sub and fries."

* * *

In the time it had taken Scotty to run to the store and back, Lilly had retreated into the hole George had dug for her. Walking over in silence, he stopped a few feet from her.

"Lil."

At the sound of his voice, Lilly opened her eyes. Scotty gently placed the sandwich and fries on the desk in front of her.

"Thanks," she whispered. He nodded, noting that she made no effort to reach for it.

"I'm gonna go talk to the others, OK?"

She nodded numbly, her face blank.

"Sure."

Scotty waited for a few moments, checking to see if his partner would show any other signs of life. When she didn't, he backed up into the break room, suddenly wanting to throw up.

"Scotty?" Stillman said concernedly. The younger detective blinked.

"She's beaten up pretty bad, boss," he said, choking on the words as they left his mouth, "EMT's think that blow to the back of Lil's head woulda knocked her out. Said it's a miracle she woke up when she did, or else..."

Stillman patted him on the back.

"That's fine, Scotty. You did good."

"So what now, boss?" Vera asked, his face pale. The lieutenant rubbed his eyes.

"Will and I will head down to the crime scene. Oversee from there."

"Night, boss."

"Night, Nick. Scotty."

Barely acknowledging his two colleagues as they left the room, Scotty looked over at his partner. Lilly was huddled in her desk chair, knees hugged to her chest. His hooded sweatshirt hung loosely off her body, and her sock-clad feet were curled over the edge of the seat. The turkey sub lay untouched on the desk in front of her.

The bruise around Lilly's jaw had darkened to a vicious purple, the swelling and split lip adding to her image of disarray. Blood matted the hair at the back of her head, and hints of black were just starting to show around her left eye. Scotty clenched his fist, digging his fingernails into his palm. She wasn't supposed to look like this. She was meant to look like Lilly, blonde hair, blue eyes, heart-stopping smile.

A voice broke through his bubble of rage.

"She won't let anyone else near her," Vera said quietly, "Flinches every time someone gets within two feet o' that desk."

Scotty had forgotten Nick was there. He glanced up at his friend, his eyes darkening to obsidian at the wave of rage and horror that flooded through him with Vera's insinuation.

"You think..."

Vera shrugged.

"Maybe. They found her in a pair of pyjama pants and a torn vest. She refused a rape kit."

"She wasn't raped!" Scotty burst out desperately.

"But we don't know that, Scotty," Vera said gently. His head was spinning, and just the idea of Lilly being in that position made him nauseous. Scotty felt his stomach churn, and he leant forward, resting his head on his knees. His breath came in ragged gasps. Vera patted him on the back.

"Breathe, Valens. Hyperventilatin' ain't gonna help her."

The younger detective struggled for air, his mind a jumble of thoughts. Vera waited, watching as Scotty's breathing returned to normal.

"You OK?" he asked. Scotty nodded, and looked away, feeling tears threaten to spill from the corner of his eyes.

"Sorry," he muttered. Vera shrugged.

"As I was sayin', Lil ain't lettin' anyone near her...'cept you. Not even Boss."

Scotty stood up, walking to the sink. He leant forward, splashing cold water into his face. After taking a deep breath, and wiping the droplets from his skin, the male detective straightened.

"We gotta find this creep, Nick," he murmured, heading out into the bullpen. He stopped a few feet away from Lilly, watching her chewing mechanically at her fingernails.

"Hey," he called gently. His partner jumped. She rested her head on her knees, turning her face towards him.

"Hi," she replied in a whisper. Scotty remained standing a good distance from the desk, until Lilly raised her eyes to his. The emptiness in her eyes gave him the courage to move to crouch in front of her. Scotty cleared his throat.

"You wanna talk about it?" he asked softly. A faint smile appeared from her lips.

"No."

"OK, Lil."

She absently stretched out a hand to fiddle with his tie.

"I think," she began slowly, her voice barely audible, "that I'd like to stay with you after all."

Scotty smiled softly, knowing how much that admission would have cost her. He stood up, cautiously offering her a hand. Lilly stared at it, swallowing the lump in her throat.

"Scotty, I don't...I can't..."

His smile faded, a deep frown creasing his forehead.

"What's up, Lil?"

"I don't think I can trust my legs to work," she whispered. Scotty nodded in uncertain understanding. He stepped forward, leaning down and allowing Lilly to tentatively wrap her arms around his neck. Straightening, he gently pulled her up with him, sliding his arms around her waist. Scotty held her until he felt her trembling arms grow still. Lilly relaxed, resting her cheek on his shirt. Just for a moment, because it was only them in the bullpen, they stood in each other's arms.

Scotty pressed a kiss to her forehead, so light that Lilly wondered if it had been a figment of her imagination. She let her eyes close, her voice coming out as a tiny sigh.

"It hurts, Scotty."

He held her tighter.

"I know."

* * *

So Lilly's cats are fine. But she's not...and Scotty's not...and there's still someone out there trying to kill Lilly. Insert dramatic noise here. I hope I didn't disappoint anyone with this chapter! Because I updated so quickly, please may I have a review?

* * *

mech·a·nize


	3. Abstention

A/N I told you that you might have to wait a while for another update- I wasn't TOO long, was I? So here we have a whole load more angst. We got Lilly-angst, Scotty-angst, Lilly/Scotty-angst together...I hope you're prepared. And I am totally aware that they both seem out of character, but I figure her house has just burnt down, and maybe they ain't exactly thinkin' straight! :P Oh yeah, and there's a scene from FRIENDS in here too. S'mores for anyone who can tell me which episode it's from. Once again, thanks to all you loyal readers and reviewers out there! BTW, my e-mail has been playing up recently, so if you've tried messaging me, I probably haven't got it.

This chapter is dedicated to **oucellogal**, who welcomed a healthy baby boy on Friday! I know you might not read this, but what the hell! We're thinking of you!

Disclaimer: I don't own them, but boy what I'd give to be a fly on the wall during this chapter! I don't own FRIENDS, either. Dammit...

* * *

**ab·sten·tion**

**1. The act or habit of deliberate self-denial.**

*******

Walking into his apartment, Lilly hovered uncertainly in the dimly lit main corridor until the rest of the lights had been switched on. Scotty carefully unfolded her arms, tentatively taking her hand. She glanced up at him, her eyes dark and filled with pain. He led her further into his living room. Sighing, Lilly broke free from his gentle grip and headed straight for the sofa, collapsing on the cushions and hugging her knees to her chest.

His heart broke a little with every shiver that wracked her frame, and Scotty crept towards her. He knelt down, tucking a blanket around her. Lilly's trembling subsided, and she looked up at him.

"Thanks for doing this, Scotty," she said quietly.

"No problem, Lil," he replied, moving to sit on the coffee table opposite her. Lilly stared at him, and the male detective struggled to find any signs of life in her eyes. Scotty gently tugged at the hooded sweater hanging off her thin arms.

"You wanna take a shower?"

"No."

"You smell of smoke," he whispered sadly. A flicker of something unknown appeared in her eyes for a brief second.

"I'm fine, Scotty," she answered automatically. He gave a short, humourless laugh, shaking his head.

"Yeah, an' I'm the goddamn President o' the United States!"

For the first time that evening, Lilly's eyes met his. Her voice came out in a deadly whisper.

"What do you want me to say, Scotty? You want me to tell you how scared I was? How I thought I was going to die? Because I did, Scotty. I thought I was going to die."

He swallowed the rock that was blocking his throat. She'd just torn another piece off his heart, and was sitting there with that look of defeat on her face. The male detective stood up, the sudden action making her jump.

"I'll get that shower started."

* * *

The water had started to run cold, and as she turned the tap off, it took the blonde detective a while to realise that the moisture falling from her cheeks wasn't coming from the shower head. She angrily wiped the tears away, barely concealing a small cry of pain when she brushed over her split lip. Scotty tapped on the bathroom door. Lilly jumped, her eyes widening in fear.

"Uh, Lil? I brought you some clothes."

She blinked, and reached for a towel, before slowly opening the door. Her partner stared at her in shock. The bruises on her face stood out against the stark of her skin, and her damp hair hung limply around her face. The male detective cleared his throat, blinking rapidly to fight off the tears that had appeared in his eyes.

"Here," he said hoarsely. Lilly tried to smile, but failed miserably. She clutched the towel tightly to her chest, shivering in the cool air.

"Thanks."

"There anythin' else I can get you?"

This time, Lilly's smile was real, although barely visible, and Scotty stepped closer.

"No, Scotty. You've done enough," she replied. He smiled.

"Let me have a look at your head," he said gently. Lilly slowly turned around, letting her partner examine the top of her head. His breathe was warm on the back of her neck, and the blonde detective couldn't stop the flutter that rushed through her body. His breath caught. Scotty rested his hands on her bare shoulders, his fingers dancing over her pale skin.

"You shoulda gone to the hospital," he murmured. Lilly let that go, not having the energy to fight with him. He slid his fingers down the column of her neck, feeling her flinch at the unexpected movement. Was her skin meant to look that inviting?

"Scotty..."

"I'll let you get dressed."

Before she could even think of forming a reply, he'd already shut the door, and Lilly winced at the sudden loss of heat. She sank down onto the toilet seat.

"Fuck," she whispered. Her fist was still clutching the towel to her chest. With a heavy sigh, and a slight cough, Lilly let go, watching the material fall slowly to the floor. _Fuck._

* * *

She didn't smell of smoke anymore. She smelt of...him. His deodorant that lingered on the t-shirt. His soap powder that made the boxer shorts seem incredibly soft. _His boxer shorts... _Lilly knew her cheeks were turning pink, and self-consciously folded her arms around her waist. Hearing her in the doorway, Scotty turned, his eyes flicking to the ground and back to hers.

"How're you feelin'?" he mumbled. She nodded, moving to sit on the sofa.

"Better. Thanks."

"You hungry?"

"No."

At her quick reply, Scotty frowned.

"When was the last time you ate?" he questioned suspiciously.

"Earlier," she retorted.

"How much earlier?"

"Earlier."

Scotty sighed, pushing her discarded turkey sub and fries towards her.

"Lil, you have to eat. It ain't..."

"Dammit, Scotty, I said I'm not hungry!" Lilly snapped suddenly. The rage from earlier that evening returned in full force.

"For fuck's sake, Lil, you ain't dead yet!" he yelled. She stared at him in shock. Scotty stifled a curse, and continued in a softer voice.

"You ain't gonna kill yourself on my watch, Lilly. So you can either eat now, or I'll sit here until you do."

The moment seemed to stretch on, not unlike their argument over Chris in the precinct lobby. Much to his surprise, it was Lilly that folded first, tearing her eyes away from his and reaching for the sandwich. Scotty turned away, releasing the breath he didn't realise he'd been holding. He moved away, hearing nothing but the silence that stretched between them.

After a few seconds, the rustling of a paper bag caught his attention, and the male detective turned around. Lilly knew he was watching her, but couldn't put her finger on why it was so uncomfortable. She half-heartedly picked up a few fries, sighing as she ate them. Her mouth worked automatically, the taste sour in the back of her throat. Scotty watched her from across the room, standing against the counter with folded arms.

Feeling his gaze burning into her, Lilly blushed, keeping her eyes fixed on the coffee table.

"Why are you watching me?" she murmured.

"'Cause I'm worried about you. That's why I'm watchin' you," Scotty replied in a low voice, thinking that any louder would have seemed out of place. When Lilly finally replied, she spoke barely above a whisper.

"Don't."

"Don't what? Don't care? Don't worry? What the fuck am I **not** supposed to do, Lilly? 'Cause I don't know!"

She glared at him.

"I didn't ask you to care, Scotty! This is nothing new for me! Don't you remember the last guy who tried to kill me? His name was George!"

"Yeah, an' he pretty much _did_ kill you, didn't he, Lilly?" he yelled in return. Seeing the shock on her face, he continued in a softer voice.

"Look at you, Lil. There's nothin' left. You're walkin' around here like some sorta ghost, and it's killin' me."

Lilly looked up, her eyes dull and lifeless. Surprise flitted across her face, but it was gone before he could make anything of it.

"What?"

"It's killin' me to see you like this, Lil," he said gently.

"Yeah, well now you know how I felt when Elissa died," Lilly replied harshly, "but at least there's no chance of me sleeping with your brother."

The bitter words sent another twinge of hurt through him. He should have known that the best defence was always a good offence, a trick that Lilly seemed to have mastered.

"Are we gonna start fightin' about Chris?"

"Who said anything about my sister, Valens? Why? You still holding a torch for her, even after she left you down and out?"

"Come on, Lil, don't do this now..."

"Do what?"

Scotty was quickly losing what little control he had over his temper.

"You had no right to get mad at me!" he snapped.

"What?"

"I was doing great before you warned me off sleepin' wit' Chris!"

"Hey! I was doing great before you screwed my sister! You think it was easy for me to see you with her?"

"Then you shoulda said somethin' before I met her!"

"I didn't know then!" Lilly shouted in outraged frustration, "And how come you never said anything to me?"

"There was never a good time!"

Lilly scoffed, and flung a hand in his direction.

"Right, because you only had a year, and we only saw each other every day!"

"Not...not...every day. An' it's not like I didn't try, Lil. But there was always somethin' in the way, like ADAs, or...serial killers, or...or...or ADAs."

The blonde detective narrowed her eyes.

"Hey, there was one ADA, and do you even have a point?"

"My point is that I don't need this right now! It's too late!"

"OK, so you're just gonna put away feelings or whatever the hell it is you thought you felt for me?"

"I've been doing it for two years, Lil! I'm pretty damn good at it!"

She ran a hand through her hair, taking a deep breath.

"Look, Scotty. I don't want to be here. You don't want me here. So you can just pretend I'm not. OK?" she said quietly. Something snapped inside of him. He threw his shirt onto the sofa, standing before her in nothing but his white wife-beater.

"Do you know what he does to those girls?"

Lilly froze.

"What?" she whispered, praying that he wasn't about to go down the path she thought he was.

"He chases them. Jus' like George did, Lilly. Exactly like George did. But this guy, he doesn't just shoot 'em..."

"Don't," his partner begged, tears springing to her eyes. Scotty pushed on, desperate to make her see.

"He gets 'em into a dark alley, backs them up so they can't run. An' then he hits 'em..."

"Please...stop..." Lilly pleaded, her voice cracking. He shook his head, stepping closer. _I have to make her see that she ain't dead yet. That she's got a life worth livin'..._

"He hits 'em so many times, Lil. An' they're screamin', but there's..."

"Scotty!" she begged.

"There's nobody there, Lilly! They can't save themselves!" her partner shouted back. Scotty never got to finish what he was about to say, as a small blonde thunderbolt suddenly flew across the room, her fists landing punches on his chest.

"You son of a bitch!" Lilly sobbed, tears streaming down her cheeks, "You son of a bitch!"

Her closed hands pounded on his upper body, and Scotty realised that maybe this time he'd gone too far. Guilt forced him to hold his tongue, to stand his ground, to endure her punches without a sound. His arms hung limply at his sides, his body swaying under her assault.

"I hate you!" his partner screamed. She was running out of energy, and with tears of his own building in the corners of his eyes, Scotty carefully pulled her towards him, enveloping her in a secure embrace. Lilly struggled against him, her fists trying to land further blows on his cotton clad chest as she repeated "I hate you!" over and over again.

Scotty folded his arms around her back, holding her tight against him. Her shouts of pure rage turned into sobs of pain and fear, and Lilly finally stopped hitting him. She clutched at his vest, her legs crumpling. Scotty loosened his arms, supporting her as she sank into his body.

"I hate you," she sobbed. He sniffed, burying his nose in her hair. The material between her fingers was soft, and the erratic thump of his heart beat was enough to calm her to her a state of gentle crying. Scotty swallowed.

"It's OK," he whispered. Her body stiffened, and Lilly stepped back from his arms. Scotty reached for her, his eyes widening in horror as his partner shrank away from him. His head was spinning. One minute she's sobbing in his arms, and the next she can't stand to touch him?

"Before you stop talkin' to me completely," he said quietly, "jus' promise me one thing, Lil."

"What?" she asked uncertainly, wiping her eyes.

"Don't run from this."

"Don't run from what?"

"From this. From us."

Lilly smiled sadly.

"I don't make promises I can't keep, Scotty."

Wanting to shake some sense into her, he grabbed her arm, his grip vice like. Lilly cried out in pain, and Scotty let her go as if her skin had burnt him. She fell back, closing her eyes against the ache.

"Jesus, Lil, I'm sorry. Oh, crap, don't..." Scotty said in a broken voice. Tears sprang to his eyes, and he disappeared into the bedroom. Taking a moment to control her trembling body, Lilly released a shaky breath, before following the same path that her partner had taken.

Slowly pushing the door open, she watched as a thing beam of light trailed across the floor. Scotty was sitting on the end of his bed, elbows resting on his knees. In the dim lighting, the blonde saw the shining trails on his cheeks, and carefully sat down beside him. Lilly linked an arm through his, and rested her cheek against his shoulder. Breathing evenly, she hugged his arm, clutching it tightly to her.

"I do need you, Scotty," she whispered sadly, "I know I should ask for help, but..."

"But what?" he pressed, his voice choked with tears. She closed her eyes, retreating into the corner of her mind.

"But I don't know how."

* * *

Dammit. I promised myself I wouldn't cry! Sigh. Oh well. My excuse for Lilly's meltdown is as follows, so pay attention: first Kite breaks up with her, then Scotty sleeps with Chris, then George happens, and now someone's trying to kill her. She was bound to snap at some point. Now that's over and done with, you just know that The Little Review People won't stop nagging me until you click the button, so...click.


	4. Function

A/N I can guarantee that you're actually all gonna hate me at the end of this chapter, so I wrote you a whole load of smut to ease the blow! And just to warn you, I hate Scotty in this chapter. I'm gonna try and get the next chapter up at the weekend- I promise it's easing off the angst and heading more towards the fluff. So read and review, and as always, thanks to everyone who reviewed the last section! ENJOY!**

* * *

**

**func·tion**

**1. ****The action for which a person or thing is particularly fitted or employed.**

**2. ****An official ceremony or a formal social occasion.**

**3. ****Something closely related to another thing and dependent on it for its existence, value, or significance.**

**4. ****The physiological activity of an organ or body part.**

*******

As children, we are taught that nightmares are simply fantasies and phobias that spring to mind during sleep. So then we grow older, realise that one man's dream is another man's nightmare, and suddenly we'd give anything to be a child again. Unless being a child was the biggest nightmare of them all. Unless a dream had already become a nightmare, a nightmare already changed into a reality, until it comes full circle, and you're sucked into believing they're one and the same.

Lilly had always suffered from nightmares, often having them progress to full on night terrors- shaking, screaming, falling out of bed. She found them worse after a great amount of stress...like a fight with her partner. Their goodnights had been brief, full of unspoken words and no eye contact. The luminous digits on the clock had just switched to 3:27. Lilly awoke with a start, a scream frozen on her lips, and she sat up.

Cold sweat trickled down her spine as she squeezed her eyes shut.

"Are you OK?"

Lilly jumped, her eyes flying open.

"Dammit, Scotty!" she gasped. Scotty was perched at the foot of his spare bed, listening to the unsteady breathing of his partner. He reached over to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Lilly flinched, and shrank away from his hand.

"What the hell are you doing in here?" she said shakily. Scotty shrugged, staring at his knees.

"Couldn't sleep."

"So you thought you'd just come and sit here instead?" his partner snapped. He blushed, refusing to meet her gaze.

"I guess I'll leave you alone," he muttered. Watching him stand up and walk towards the door, Lilly remembered what Scotty had tried to make her understand.

_"You ain't dead yet!"_

So with that thought in mind, the blonde detective closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and began to speak.

"It's always the same."

Scotty turned his head, eyes flicking to her face for confirmation. Lilly continued, her voice holding only a fraction of the strength that it normally did.

"It starts off in the attic with George, and we've got our guns, just like what really happened, except he fires first. I'm just...standing there, not doing anything, and I'm about to fall, and then it changes."

By now, Scotty had moved closer and sat back on the edge of the bed, watching the different emotions play out on her face.

"What happens next?" he asked, dreading the answer.

"I'm back in my house. There's blood...so much blood...and this guy is throwing me around like I'm a rag doll, Scotty. And then the smoke comes," Lilly whispered, tears springing to her eyes. Scotty rested a hand on his thigh, and the blonde detective looked down at it in surprise.

"You're safe here, Lil. You know that, right?"

"I know."

"So, the smoke comes..."

"And he breaks my arm. Snaps it like a twig. Then my other arm. Then my legs. And he's reaching for my neck...and I wake up."

Noticing the trembling of her shoulders, Scotty tucked the sheets around her, feeling sick at the sight of the purple bruises tainting her perfect skin. Sitting back, he cleared his throat.

"I gotta ask you somethin'."

"I wasn't raped, Scotty," she replied softly. He frowned.

"How'd you know what I was gonna ask?"

A tiny ghost of a smile appeared at the corner of her mouth.

"Because I know you. I'm not blind. I see the way you think twice about every move you make."

Scotty was silent for a moment.

"So he didn't..."

"No. He tried, but..."

"I'm sorry, Lil. I shoulda been there."

Lilly looked up at him incredulously.

"Why? So he could've killed you too? Even if he had ra..." Her voice trailed off, and she sighed. "There's nothing you could have done, Scotty."

The silence returned, their minds both working overtime. Suddenly, Scotty pounded his fist into the bed, only just missing her leg. When he met her gaze, she felt her heart sink. His eyes were shining, not with joy, but in the darkest determination she'd ever seen from anyone.

"You ever broken a bone?" he asked, his voice lacking any emotion. Lilly took a deep breath. _Fuck. This isn't good. _She settled for the easiest answer, knowing that however simply she put it, it would never be enough.

"Yes."

Her partner waited, the muscle in his jaw twitching ominously.

"Is that all I get?"

"Yes."

Scotty blew out a breath, one that told Lilly he was about as close to the edge of his temper as he could get without losing it completely.

"Which bone?" he pressed slowly, his voice dangerous. Lilly lowered her heavy eyes to the sheets.

"My jaw," she said in a soft voice.

"How old were you?"

The blonde hesitated, knowing that it wouldn't be much longer before he put the pieces together. Eventually, she released a shaky sigh.

"Ten."

"Your 49 report," Scotty said in soft realisation, "That's why you're takin' this case so hard. Because you..."

As the words caught in his throat, Lilly looked up, offering him a sad smile. She wanted to scream at him, wanted to make him realise the missing piece.

"Got it in one," she replied evenly.

"What happened to you, Lil?"

"Nothin'."

"Nothin', huh?"

She stood up suddenly, making it to the other side of the room and glaring at the male detective.

"Dammit, Scotty! Just leave it! I'm not going to tell you!" she snapped, walking into his kitchen. Scotty followed her, his face dark in anger.

"Why not? What, you don't trust me or somethin'?"

"Why should I?" Lilly exploded, reaching for a glass and slamming the cupboard door. The look of shock and hurt on his face did nothing to calm her, only made her angrier.

"Why should I trust you? What reason have you given me to tell you **anything **about me? You lied to me about sleeping with my sister!"

"Yeah, go ahead an' bring that up again!"

"Go back to bed, Scotty."

"Why do you keep pushin' me away? Why are you so damn mad at me?"

"My house burnt down, Scotty. Someone is trying to kill me," she said, mimicking his tone from before, "isn't that what you keep telling me? So don't you think I've fucking earned the right to be pissed off?"

"Yeah, jus' not at me!"

Lilly turned around, gasping as she realised he was standing way too close behind her. She froze, feeling his hard warm body pressed against hers. Scotty felt his breath catch, and tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

"I don't want to talk about Chris," he said hoarsely, taking the glass from her hand and replacing it on the side. She nodded, firmly fixed between him and the kitchen counter. His arms hanging loosely at his sides, the male detective realised how easy it would be to kiss her. All he had to was lean forward, bend his head down, and...

At the flash of desire that appeared in his eyes, Lilly felt something stir at the bottom of her stomach. Suddenly brave, Scotty raised his hand to her hip, lifting the t-shirt and caressing the smooth skin. His eyes locked with hers, begging her not to let go of whatever was holding her in place. Lilly barely had a chance to get over his hand on her waist before Scotty captured her lips with his. The cut on her lip throbbed painfully, but the pleasure pooling between her thighs erased everything else from her mind except the feel of his tongue gently easing her lips apart and joining hers.

The blonde detective melted against the counter, and Scotty took that as his cue to move forward. He pinned her against the hard stone, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. Using what little strength she had, Lilly managed to tear her lips away.

"We can't," she protested breathlessly. He either didn't hear her, or was simply ignoring her, because Scotty moved his lips to her neck, nipping at the soft skin below her ear. Lilly gripped his forearms, trying to decide whether she wanted to push him away or draw him closer. The latter won out, and she dug her fingernails into his arms.

Scotty hid a noise of surprise by biting down on her neck. Lilly gasped, urgency causing her to tug at his pyjama pants. The male detective crushed his lips down on hers, gently pushing her down the hall to his bedroom. Kicking the door shut behind him, her knees hit the mattress and she stumbled. Scotty's hands landed on her ass, pushing her down. His erection was hot and heavy against her hip, and she fell backwards onto the bed.

Ripping the t-shirt over her head, Scotty forgot about her injuries. Lilly winced slightly, and her partner raised his face from her shoulder.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked, his voice coming out as a husky whisper. Instead of replying, the blonde detective took advantage of his momentary distraction to press a soft kiss to his collar bone. He shuddered, tossing the shirt to the floor and burying his face in the valley between her breasts. Lilly cried out as his teeth grazed her nipple, and she pressed his head more tightly against her.

"Scotty!"

"Lil..." he murmured, smiling into her skin. The burning in his pyjama pants was almost unbearable, and he tugged Lilly's boxer shorts down over her hips. Scotty slid a hand down to tease her clit, rubbing circles on her thigh and stroking the sensitive nub with his forefinger. Her cry of pleasure was lost as his mouth once again covered hers, and he increased the pressure of his finger on her core. She cried out again, and kicked the boxer shorts away from her. Raising a leg, her foot slid down his body, catching the waistband of his pants between her toes and pushing them away.

"I need...Scotty...you..." she stammered breathlessly.

It seemed like he got the message, because he was quickly reaching to his bedside table and pulling out a condom. His hand left his partner's centre, and he chuckled at her growl of protest. Before he knew it, Lilly had snatched the rubber and ripped open the foil, sliding it over his hardness. Scotty choked on air as her hand encircled him.

"You're pretty good at that, Rush," he said, pressing kisses to her throat and shoulders. She chuckled, feeling heat course through every part of her body.

"That's not the only thing I'm good at," she replied in a low voice, lying back on the bed and pulling him down on top of her. Lilly gasped as she felt him between her thighs.

"Oh God..."

Scotty ran his tongue along the curve of her neck. She arched her back, lifting her hips to press herself against him. Positioning himself at her entrance, the male detective slid into her, burying himself to the hilt. Lilly whispered nonsensical words to herself, clutching at his shoulders as he began to move, slowly at first.

"Lil..."

"Scotty...harder..." she moaned, biting his lower lip.

Sweat mingled between their bodies, adding to the friction causing them to cry out in pleasure. He held her hips to the bed, thrusting deep into her. Lilly fisted her hands in the sheets, throwing one leg over his shoulder, looping the other around his back to sit low on his hip. She felt the pace of his thrusts increase. He groaned, tilting his head back as he pounded into her.

"I hate you," she gasped, crying out as he hit the perfect spot.

"Why?" her partner grunted in reply. Her fingers scrabbled over his shoulders, pulling him closer.

"Because this isn't supposed to feel this good."

* * *

Scotty had always known that sex with Lilly would be out of this world. A good while later, as he exploded inside her with a low groan, his mind went blissfully blank, and her muscles clenched tightly around him.

"Holy shit," he moaned, nestling his nose into the crook of her neck. Lilly ran her hands through his hair and down over his back, holding him in place as she stifled a soft cry. They both went still, breathing heavily and clutching at each other. Scotty dropped into the bed beside her, pulling her with him. His breath hot on her skin, the blonde detective suddenly felt sick, as if her world was caving in.

"Oh shit," she whispered. Scotty raised himself up on his elbows.

"What?"

"Oh shit!" Lilly repeated, sliding out from under him as tears appeared in her eyes. Scotty grabbed her wrist, not caring whether he hurt her or not.

"Don't do this, Lilly," he growled.

"Don't do what, Scotty? Fuck! This wasn't supposed to happen," she said, hugging the sheet to her chest.

"We had sex, Lil. So maybe it wasn't the greatest timing, but next time..."

Lilly spun around in disbelief.

"Next time? What we just did was so...so...so **stupid**, Scotty, I can't even believe you think it's gonna happen again!"

"You really think it was stupid?"

"YES! And you know what makes it worse? I can't even blame it on alcohol."

He saw red. It was like a blanket of rage, covering him, wiping away all the intimacy that follows sex.

"Get out," he said in a low voice.

"What?" Lilly asked in disbelief.

"You heard me. I said get the fuck out."

Scotty tugged the sheet away from her and tied it around his waist, leaving Lilly shivering as she scrambled for her clothes.

"What the hell, Scotty?" she said angrily. Ignoring her, he opened his bedroom, glaring out into the hallway. Biting her lip to conceal her tears, Lilly slid the t-shirt over her head, walking out of his bedroom. Her back was barely clear of the door before it slammed shut.

"Scotty! Open the damn door!" she shouted.

"Fuck you, Lil!"

A repetitive thump started up from behind the closed door, and Lilly winced, knowing her partner was taking his anger out on his furniture.

"Scotty?" she called desperately. Tears spilled over her eyelids. "Scotty! Please, open the door!"

Getting no reply, Lilly heard her breath hitch, and heading into her own bedroom, she pulled the boxer shorts up over hips, more tears appearing when she realised that her clothing smelled of nothing but Scotty. Lilly collapsed onto her own bed, curling up into a ball. The thumping stopped.

For the first time since George, she didn't bother trying to conceal her soft sobs, letting her tears soak into the pillow.

"I'm sorry," she cried, her voice muffled by the pillow. The ache in her chest spread from her heart outwards, racing down her limbs until her entire body ached.

Outside her door, Scotty rested his head against the wood, tears springing to his eyes at the sound of her crying inside. His knuckles were already starting to turn black, and his hand moved to the door handle.

"Lil," he whispered brokenly. For a moment, he considered opening the door, going to her, kissing away the pain. _What the hell were you thinking? Treating her like some cheap whore, and then expecting her to be OK with that?_

Scotty wiped his eyes, taking the coward's way out and backing up into his room. All the things he'd said replayed over and over again, and his heart broke as he remembered the feel of her fists hitting his chest as she screamed 'I hate you'. He figured at least now she had a reason to hate him.

"_Don't run from this."_

"_Don't run from what?"_

"_From this. From us."_

He'd asked her not to run from them, so what had he gone and done? Pushed her away. Treated her like shit. The male detective collapsed on the bed, breathing in the smell of his partner that still lingered in the pillow.

Scotty reluctantly allowed his eyelids to flutter closed. He'd remember to be mad in the morning.

* * *

Lilly was already gone when he finally opened his eyes, but judging from the smell of coffee lingering in the air, he'd just missed her. Scotty wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. His lower regions reminded him of the night's events, and he buried his face in the pillow with a groan.

"Fuck!"

Hating himself for making what had to have been the biggest mistake in his life, the male detective walked into the kitchen. _Hope Lil put some coffee on, _he thought, _'cause God knows I need the kick to my system. _His partner had indeed put the coffee maker on, and Scotty couldn't help but smile at the mental image of Lilly finding her way around his kitchen.

Something on the counter caught his attention, and forced his breath to catch in his throat. Moving slowly, Scotty reached out for the folder, sliding it along the counter towards him. _What the hell? Where'd this come from? _His eyes fell on the two Post-It notes stuck on the top. The first one was in Stillman's writing.

_**Lil,**_

_**Here's the folder you requested. Be careful.**_

_**Stillman**_

Scotty swore again. Amidst his own self-loathing, and anger towards Lilly, he'd completely forgotten that someone was trying to kill her, and now she was out on her own where God knows what could happen to her. Growling in rage, he threw an empty mug across the room, watching as it exploded into tiny pieces. Breathing heavily, the male detective clenched his fist, slowly bringing it down on the counter. He stared at the second note, tracing his finger over the neat curls and swoops.

**_I'm sorry._**

Scotty swore softly, now knowing that his suspicions were confirmed. The male detective stared at the folder, daring himself to open it. He didn't know if he wanted to or not. _Maybe I'll jus' open it. I won't read it._

Decision made, he flipped the file open, finding another note from Lilly on the inside.

_**If you've managed to open the cover, you might as well read the report.**_

She was right- of course she was right. Steeling himself for what the report might contain, Scotty sat down on a bar stool, taking a deep breath.

"October 17th, 1985..."

* * *

OK, OK, Scotty's an ass. Line to knock some sense into starts behind me. And if you didn't work it out, Lilly left him a copy of her 49 report to read. But does he read it? Tune in next time for...Yeah, whatever. Maybe just leave me a review?


	5. Volatilization

A/N I've just realised how long this chapter actually is! Thank you so much to everyone who's been reviewing- it really means a lot! You have to forgive any mistakes in this chapter, because it's 5:15, and I can't sleep, so...I think I must be ill, because I don't know what to write. Uh oh.

Disclaimer: I didn't write one of these for the last chapter, and nothing bad happened, so I've come to the conclusion that they're not actually needed, but if it stops me being sued for copyright, then what's a couple lines?

**

* * *

**

**vol·a·til·ize**

**1. To become or make volatile**

*******

Scotty stormed into the bullpen, heading straight for his partner's desk.

"What the fuck were you thinkin'? You can't jus' walk out without protection!" he yelled. Lilly stood up, closing the height difference, and angrily threw her pen away.

"Don't come in here and start shouting at me, Valens!"

"Do you wanna get killed? Is that what it is?"

Lilly glared at him, not having a reply. Scotty's face fell, and he touched her cheek.

"You don't want to die, do you?" he asked quietly. She gently peeled his hand away from her face.

"Don't, Scotty..."

"Why'd you leave the house?" Scotty pressed, withdrawing his hand. Lilly concealed the pain in her eyes beneath an icy glare. The bruise around her eye had darkened over night, and added to the circles underneath her eyelids, there was no mistaking that she'd been through the ringer.

"Because I thought I'd be more welcome here," she replied softly. His jaw clenched, and he ground his teeth together, watching her walk into the Stillman's office. The door shut behind her, and Scotty shook his head. Inside the room, three pairs of concerned eyes stared at Lilly.

"What?" she asked shakily. Jefferies' eyes skimmed over her, counting the stitches in her head and narrowing his eyes at the bruises on her face. The nerve in his forehead twitched.

"You changed your clothes," he observed. She shrugged.

"Scotty's joggers just didn't do it for me."

"Right..."

Lilly blushed slightly, and cleared her throat.

"So what have we got?" she asked, her voice only wavering slightly. Vera eyed her warily, glancing at Stillman before he began to speak.

"We've been thinkin'. It ain't safe for you to be on your own, so we think you should have someone to, you know..."

She stared at him.

"You want me to have a babysitter?"

Vera shrugged.

"I was goin' more for a bodyguard, but a babysitter works just as well," he replied under her breath. Stillman took a deep breath.

"Lil, we don't know who this guy is, what he's planning to do next, wh..."

"He's planning to kill again. That's right, isn't it?"

Vera cleared his throat.

"Come on, Rush. You've seen what he does to those little girls. Just imagine what..."

"Why does everyone have to keep reminding what he puts the victims through? I am **working** this case, I have **seen **the crime scene photos!" Lilly yelled suddenly, turning on her heel and fleeing into the break room. Her hand trembled as she poured herself a cup of coffee. Behind her, the door opened and closed, and the faint smell of an all too familiar aftershave reached her nose.

"Are you gonna give me the Ice Queen treatment all day?" he asked, brushing a furtive hand along her back. Lilly jumped, jerking her head around to glare at him.

"What the hell are you doing?" she hissed, pushing his hand away. Scotty smirked, his eyes glinting teasingly.

"I ain't doin' nothin', Rush. Why? Am I distractin' you?"

"You bastard," Lilly seethed, feeling her cheeks turn pink. Scotty refused to take the hint, resting his hand on her hip and reaching around her to grab a mug. During the overly complicated manoeuvre, his arm touched her breasts, his skin warm below the thing material of her shirt. Lilly heard her breath hitch, and heat flooded through her.

"Scotty..." she warned, desperately trying to conceal the arousal in her voice beneath layers of rage.

"I ain't lettin' this go that easily, Lilly. I'll wait for you, until you tell me why the hell you flipped out this mornin'."

She turned around, suddenly finding herself pinned against a counter for the second time in 24 hours. His breath was hot on her cheek, and the blonde detective swallowed hard.

"Move," she ordered softly. Scotty pressed his hips to hers, his thigh resting between hers, and Lilly closed her eyes against the lust eating away at her inhibitions.

"Make me," he whispered. Desperate to regain some form of self-control, Lilly opened her eyes, regretting it the moment she saw his eyes darken with want.

"Move," she repeated, more firmly this time, and was satisfied when a frown creased his brow.

"Why are you fightin' this, Lil? You can't seriously tell me you don't want this."

Her eyes met his.

"I don't want this," she said. _New level of low, Rush, _she thought, _lying to your partner's face._

"But you..."

Lilly pressed a hand into his chest.

"I swear to God, Valens, if you feel anything for me, you'll forget this ever happened," she said quietly, sliding past him. Scotty felt his cheeks burn red with shame, and turned his head to avoid her intense blue eyes. She was almost halfway out the door before he spoke again.

"I mean it, Lil. This means too much to me to jus' let you pretend it didn't happen. So I'll wait."

Lilly turned her head, and he caught the tears lingering in her eyes.

"Then you'll be waiting a long time, Scotty."

* * *

He'd watched them. He'd watched them fight. Then he'd stood outside, listening to them while they...danced. Danced a tango. His lower regions tingled appealingly, even at the memory of hearing her, and he shifted uncomfortably. Now it was only a matter of time until he claimed what was his.

"Here you go, sir. If you'd like to write a card..." the man behind the counter said.

"No card."

"Well, here you are then. I hope she likes them."

He smiled, nodding.

"She will."

* * *

Scotty slapped a file down on the desk.

"Susan Milbank, 1986. Janie Peters, 1987. Kate Arnold, '91. Attacks in '94, '99, two in 2000, etc. Right up to Caitlyn Jeffers last week."

Lilly felt a shiver of apprehension run down her spine, and she tried to focus on the words that seemed to leap off the page. Her partner continued to speak.

"All robbed, beaten, left in side-alleys and passages."

Stillman frowned.

"No sexual assault?" he asked in surprise. Scotty shook his head.

"Nah. Reports shouted the attacks were personal. Maybe he was usin' those girls as a replacement for someone else?"

The female detective managed to find her voice, swallowing the lump that had risen in her throat.

"There any link between them?" she asked faintly.

"All between the ages of 8 and 11. They all came from one parent families livin' in Kensington."

Stillman's frown deepened slightly, almost invisibly. _Kensington...That's where..._

As Scotty turned to the whiteboard, talking quietly, the older detective's eyes moved to Lilly, coming face to face with her tortured blue stare. Seeing the horrified realisation in his eyes, she felt her heart plummet. _Crap, _she thought, _he knows._

"Lil? You listenin' to me?" Scotty said, his voice tinged with concern. She blinked, tearing her eyes away from her boss.

"Sorry," she mumbled. Her partner frowned slightly, and even though they weren't exactly on the best of terms, he reached out to touch her shoulder. Lilly jumped, looking between his face and the gentle hand on her shirt. Stillman cleared his throat.

"Good work, Scotty. Take Vera with you. Head over to Kensington and see what you can find."

"You're sendin' me on a wild goose chase, boss? I'd rather stay here wi..." he began, catching his tongue just in time. The blush that crept across Lilly's cheeks told him that she knew what he'd been about to say, and her lack of protest made him think that maybe his royal screw-up wasn't such a royal screw-up after all.

"You'd rather what, Scotty? I'm sorry if I made that sound like a suggestion," Stillman said. Cursing softly, the younger detective stormed out of the bullpen, yanking his coat from the rack. The lieutenant turned to Lilly, anger flashing in his eyes.

"My office," he commanded seriously. The softness of his voice cut Lilly deeply, for she caught his disappointment at being left in the dark.

"Boss, wait," she said hopelessly.

"Now, Rush."

Lilly followed him in, wincing as he harshly pointed to a chair. She sat, anxiously fiddling with her hands.

"You better start explaining," Stillman murmured, leaning against the wall behind his desk. The blonde hesitated.

"Please, Boss..."

"No, Lilly. I don't care how much you try to get out of it, you are not leaving this office until you tell me exactly what is going on."

"The guy who set my house on fire..."

"What about him?"

Lilly stared at the floor, flashes of mental pictures creeping into her mind as she receded into herself.

"We've...I've...he..." she whispered falteringly.

"Dammit, Lilly, spit it out!" Stillman snapped, regretting his angry words the minute he saw her flinch. Stamping down on his temper and taking a deep breath, he sat down again. Lilly pulled her hands up into her sleeves.

"I mean, I don't know his name, but…I know him. But not…" she began, incoherently stumbling over her words. Her boss watched the remaining colour slide from her cheeks.

"Lil," he said, gently this time. The blonde detective glanced up briefly, her eyes immediately flicking back to the ground.

"I know who he is because…because…"

"Lilly."

She took a deep breath.

"Because he attacked me 24 years ago."

Stillman's breath caught.

"The doer from your 49," he replied in astonishment, his own guilt overtaking the anger at having such a vital detail kept from him. Lilly nodded uncertainly, waiting for him to erupt.

"Yeah, boss."

"How do you know, Lil?" he asked, and Lilly blinked as she realised that he didn't sound at all angry with her. She managed to look up, meeting his concerned gaze with her own tortured eyes.

"Trust me, boss. There are some things you just don't forget," she said softly.

"Lilly…"

The blonde shook her head, feeling her cheeks turn pink.

"I...don't...really wanna talk about it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, but..."

"Does Scotty know?"

Lilly looked up, a frown creasing her forehead.

"Scotty? Why would he know?" she questioned in confusion. Stillman couldn't help but chuckle at the complete bewilderment in her voice.

"Because you're living with him, Lilly. And because he's your partner."

"About living with him. I don't think that's going to work out."

The lieutenant studied her carefully, watching her cheeks turn pink.

"Why not?" he asked slowly. The blush deepened, and he sighed heavily. Lilly coughed, the sudden action racking her body. She blinked tears away from her eyes.

"I need to go by the store later, so if someone could give me a ride..."

Vera tapped on the door. Stillman beckoned him in, grateful for the interruption.

"What have you got, Nick?"

"Nothin' yet. We need you guys. My head hurts from just tryin' to work this out."

* * *

Lilly had been sitting in silence at the back of the room, watching each photograph as it was stuck up on the whiteboard for the second time. With blank eyes, she observed her colleagues as they studied the images. Vera tossed the pen to the table.

"I need coffee. You comin', Will?"

"Yeah. Boss?"

Stillman nodded, eyeing his female detective carefully.

"Lil? You need anything?"

"No," she replied softly. As the three men lingered in the doorway, Scotty walked towards them, carrying a long white box. Her heart plummeted at the look on his face.

"This was just delivered," he said gravely. Lilly stood up, moving towards him.

"For me," she stated in reply. Her partner nodded, using his free hand to surreptitiously give her arm a comforting squeeze. Lilly took the box from his arm, placing it on the desk.

"Don't open it, Lilly," Stillman warned. She shrugged.

"Why?"

"It might be rigged to blow," Vera replied.

"So this guy goes from beating children to death and arson, to blowing up a whole police building?"

The doubt in her voice made them realise how unlikely that particular scenario was, and with baited breath, they watched as Lilly gently lifted the lid of the box. Her face paled, and she took a tiny step back, colliding with Scotty's chest.

"Lil?" he questioned softly. She took a deep breath, reaching into the box for the newspaper clipping; she quickly glanced at the date, before hiding it from sight. Scotty carefully moved her to one side as he looked down into the box.

"Fuck," he whispered, the colour draining from his face. Feeling bile rise up in his throat, the male detective clapped a hand over his mouth and sprinted for the bathroom, leaving a trail of confusion in his wake. Lilly sighed, watching him leave.

"Scotty..." she murmured under her breath. Stillman stood beside her, emptying the contents of the box onto the desk.

Ten beheaded lilies fell onto the table.

Jefferies clenched his fist, and Vera could be heard grinding his teeth together. Lilly attempted a smile, but it failed.

"Think he's try to tell us something?" she joked miserably. Stillman blew out a breath, eyeing the piece of paper in her hand.

"What's with the note, Lilly?"

She looked up at him, casting scared glances towards her other colleagues.

"Boss..."

"They have to know sometime, Lilly," he replied gently. Sighing, the blonde detective silently moved to the board. She closed her eyes, before unfolding the newspaper article. Fighting back tears, she taped it to the board and stepped aside. With the pen in hand, Lilly quickly wrote a series of letters beneath the numbers, and stepped back.

"Oh God," Vera breathed.

The headline read 'GIRL LEFT FOR DEAD IN ALLEY'. A photo of a smiling ten year old took up most of the page, a ten year old whose intense blue eyes were too familiar. As things started to come together in his mind, Jefferies flicked his eyes to her writing for confirmation.

_**LILLY RUSH, OCT. 17**__**th**__** 1985**_

Vera shifted in his seat, cracking his knuckles menacingly.

"I'm gonna kill him," he muttered. Lilly placed a hand on his shoulder, sliding past him to disappear into the bull pen. Their faces pale in shock, Vera and Jeffries looked towards Stillman. He met their stares with sad eyes.

"This stays in this office," he said quietly. Vera shook his head.

"Boss, what the hell is goin' on?"

"And what has Lilly got to with this?" Jeffries added. Vera frowned.

"An' why do we have to keep this quiet? Ain't Lil safer if we're all lookin' out for her?"

Jeffries had been watching Lilly carefully, noting the way she carefully avoided being anywhere near her partner.

"Scotty doesn't know yet," he said in realisation. Stillman sighed.

"For whatever reason, Lilly can't bring herself to tell him."

The detective in question reappeared in the doorway, a case file held in her hand.

"I thought you might want to look at this," she said, her voice wavering as she extended her arm. Jeffries took it from her.

"Lil, you know we're gonna have to reop..."

"NO!" she interrupted sharply, "You can't reopen it!"

Seeing their confused looks, Lilly took a deep breath.

"We work this like any other case. Forget me. Focus on the cases that we're supposed to be investigating."

"But this guy is trying to kill you!"

With a sad smile, she nodded.

"I know."

"So let us help you," Vera said gently. Lilly shuddered.

"I'm fine, you guys, really. Just...leave it alone," she replied, shutting the door behind her as she headed for the bullpen. Jeffries cleared his throat.

"What just happened?" he asked slowly. Stillman sighed.

"I think she just gave up."

* * *

Sitting back at her desk, Lilly cleared her throat.

"I've booked a hotel room, so I'll be out of your way," she said quietly. Scotty glanced up, nodded once, and returned his eyes to the page. After a moment, he stood up, walking to the break room and slamming the door. The blonde detective sighed. _Dammit, Scotty. Why'd you have to make me fa...Last night was...a big mistake._

Dropping her head to the desk for a moment, she walked quickly to the door, only stopping when a gentle hand caught hold of her wrist. Lilly turned to glare at him, yanking her arm away.

"Where are you goin'?" Scotty asked quietly. She rolled her eyes.

"Let me go, Scotty."

"Where are you goin'?" he repeated dangerously.

"To the roof. Don't worry, Valens. I won't jump."

Her eyes widened as she realized what she had said. Scotty blinked in surprise, pain rocketing through his chest.

"Shit, Scotty, I'm sorry. I didn't mean..."

"No, I get it, Lil. I get it," he interrupted, "Have a great time on the roof."

* * *

Lilly rested her elbows on the railing, looking out over the city. Out of all the thoughts flying around in her head, one refused to budge- that after thinking about it overnight, she had realized that she didn't actually have a reason for turning Scotty down. It was like trying to build a mystery: you needed a beginning, a middle, a twist in the plot, and the end. Lilly had the beginning, the middle, and was currently somewhere around the plot twist.

With a sigh, Lilly realised that no matter what way she approached it, she had a decision to make: whether to give Scotty the chance he deserved or not. Turning to lean back against the railings, she knew she needed to do what she did best. She needed to study the evidence.

Point 1: He slept with her sister, and then lied to her about it. The detective swore softly, running a tired hand over her face. _For God's sake, Rush. Is that all you can think about_? She winced as a finger caught the tender bruise surrounding her eye. Chris wasn't a reason, she was an excuse. An excuse for ignoring feelings that otherwise would have been completely ignored.

Point 2: He'd held her when she needed holding, listened when she needed to talk, talked when she wanted to listen...and pushed when she needed pushing. So what exactly had made her call things to an abrupt halt?

The implications for their professional lives could be handled, there were no problems with the sex (what she had experienced of it, she thought in embarrassment) and she highly doubted that anyone else would object. Lilly felt her breath hitch at the answer she had just reached: there _**was** _no reason for doing what she did, and that thought made her sick with guilt. _You better hope Scotty gives you a second chance, Rush, otherwise you're screwed._

Scotty, she realised, made her feel alive. Made her feel loved, even if it was by a simple grin across the bullpen. And as much as Lilly had enjoyed being with Kite, her heart had somehow had other ideas. The feeling of being loved, of being needed...that was something she was suddenly reluctant to let go. Lilly pushed off the railing, needing to tell her partner of this recent change of heart.

She would deal with the man trying to kill her later.

* * *

When she arrived in the bullpen, some of the weight lifted from her shoulders, her partner was glaring at the floor. Lilly came to a stop beside his desk. Scotty glanced up, and found that seeing her there brought back all the hurt and anger from the night before.

"Hi," she said nervously.

"Hi," he replied shortly, turning back to his paperwork.

"We need to talk."

"Thought we did," Scotty said roughly. She stifled a sigh, taking a few steps towards him. He glared at her, waiting for her to speak.

"I know you're mad, but..." Lilly began. His face remained blank, and the blonde detective coughed nervously, "Can I talk to you?"

"I ain't interested in your BS, Lil," he replied coldly, turning away.

"But what if I'm changing my mind?" she blurted. Scotty spun around to face her, his eyes widening. Lilly blushed.

"What if I'm realizing that maybe being with you...isn't such a bad thing?"

"Yeah?"

The uncertainty in his voice gave Lilly the courage to move even closer.

"You're everywhere, Scotty. You're here at work, you're there when I leave work, you're in my head...I don't think I can ignore it anymore," she admitted softly.

"What are you sayin', Lil?"

"I'm sayin' that I do want to give us a try, but...not right now."

Her partner narrowed his eyes.

"So you expect me to jus' be there whenever you feel like a quickie in the break room?" he said angrily.

"No, Scotty, that's not..."

"'Cause I can't do it, Lil. I can't pretend that you mean nothin' to me."

Lilly felt frustration tug at the edges of her mind.

"I'm trying here, Scotty. I know you're mad, and I'm sorry, but…dammit, I'm really trying!"

He looked up, and seeing that she was close to tears, felt his face soften.

"Lil…"

She hastily wiped her eyes, taking a step backwards as he stood up. Scotty swallowed, feeling guilty for almost being the one to reduce her to tears again.

"I've lost everything, Scotty. My home, my independence. Everything. I can't...I can't lose you too," she finished hurriedly, walking into the break room before Scotty had a chance to speak. He closed his eyes, pressing a cool hand to his forehead. _You've really got me goin' crazy here, Lil._

Grabbing Lilly's 49 report from where it sat in his desk drawer, he stood up to follow the trail his partner had taken. She was sitting at the table, fiddling with her fingernails and staring straight ahead. Hearing the door shut with a click, Lilly's breath caught, and she turned her head away from him. Scotty sat down opposite her, sliding the folder across the table. Lilly glanced at it, her eyes widening in dread. Her partner waited, noting her inability to look at him. Inside, panic was clawing at the walls of Lilly's heart.

Seeing the fear in her eyes, Scotty tried not to feel guilty. _Anyway, _he reasoned, _she was the one that left the damn report for me. She __**expected **__me to read it._

"Did you read it?" Lilly asked in a small voice. The moment seemed to stretch on forever, and after an eternity, he shook his head.

"No."

The male detective hid a smile at the mixture of relief, confusion and disbelief on her face.

"You didn't read it," she echoed in soft surprise.

"Lil, I want you to be able to tell me 'cause I'm your...friend, because you want me to know. Not 'cause I made you feel guilty."

Lilly stood, moving to stare absently out of the window. Scotty admired her slender curves, the way the dim lighting reflected off her hair. They were silent, until Lilly spoke in a whisper.

"Thank you."

* * *

There you go. Scotty's being a bit dense- he still hasn't worked out what the connection is between their victims and Lilly! But I guess they've taken one step closer to being 'a couple'. The next chapter gets kinda fluffy. Well, as fluffy as it can under the circumstances. I'd really appreciate any reviews, and any advice you can give would be great! Sigh. I love you guys.


	6. Fixation

A/N You know I said there would be fluff? Yeah...not so much. Maybe just a tiny little bit. Now, I have to warn you, this chapter handles some rather adult situations (not the good ones, so don't get too excited!) and is probably an 'M' rated chapter. As I said, not for good smutty reasons. Anyway, this chapter means quite a lot to me on a personal level, so I hope you like it! Well, not like it exactly, but...oh, you know what I mean...

Disclaimer: I did buy the entire DVD collection of Sex and The City. And that really has nothing to do with Cold Case...I don't own either, BTW.

* * *

**fix·a·tion**

**1. ****The act or process of fixing or fixating.**

**2. ****An obsessive preoccupation.**

**3. ****A strong attachment to a person or thing.**

*******

Words are doors to the heart. Like a key in the lock, use the specific one and you're in. Say something wrong, or snap the key, and it all goes horribly wrong, so you can never get the damn door open. All because of a few ill chosen words.

So if the door's not working...you try a window.

Scotty could see **that** folder sitting on the end of her desk. For a moment, he remembered the look on her face as he sat down opposite her earlier that day

"_Did you read it?" Lilly asked in a small voice. He shook his head._

"_No."_

_The male detective hid a smile at the mixture of relief, confusion and disbelief on her face._

"_You didn't read it," she echoed in soft surprise_.

And that had been it. The look of total relief and gratefulness on her face had torn right through him, reminding him of what he very nearly lost. In that moment, Scotty both realised that his feelings ran far deeper than they were supposed to, and reached a decision about their floundering relationship. They'd start again.

Stopping beside her desk, Scotty cleared his throat.

"Hey, Lil?"

"Yes?" she replied guardedly, unsure as to whether he was about to rip into her. Even after reaching an unspoken understanding, there was still a whole load of crap between them just waiting to be resolved. He studied her for a moment.

"Did you mean what you said?" he asked quietly.

"Scotty..." she began.

"I gotta know, Lil. 'Cause I'm so fuckin' confused, I ain't sure what you want from me."

Her heart ached in hurt and regret.

"I'm not sure either, Scotty."

"So then what are we supposed to do?"

"I...we...I..."

Lilly trailed off with a sigh. He wheeled his chair around to sit beside her. Scotty reached for her, before hesitating and withdrawing his hand. The look of hurt that flashed across her face made him pause, and he gently tangled his fingers around hers.

Scotty raised his eyes to hers, feeling his heart swell at the half-smile hanging from the corner of her mouth.

"Lil," he said softly. She looked up, her smile finally reaching her eyes.

"Scotty."

The male detective spoke again, his voice low. He absently stroked circles on her hand, captivated by the smooth skin beneath his fingers.

"I know this guy...and he's been a real jerk to his partner when she needed him. You see, uh, he, uh, really, REALLY cares about her, and, uh...well, this guy I know, he, uh, jus' wanted her to stop hurting."

A tiny hint of amusement, the first hint of the old Lilly he'd seen in weeks, crept onto her face.

"Well, how about that. I think I might know that guy's partner, and from what I've heard, she sorta deserved to be treated that way."

"So...what should this guy do?" Scotty asked uncertainly. Lilly squeezed his hand.

"I think he's probably doing it."

Scotty smiled in relief, wheeling his chair closer.

"Don't go to a hotel," he said quietly, brushing his fingers over her neck. Lilly's breath caught in her throat, and leant into his touch.

"OK," she stammered, letting her eyes fall shut.

"Have dinner with me."

Lilly frowned.

"I was planning to," she replied in confusion. The male detective grinned.

"Nah, Lil. I meant a proper dinner. You, me, a nice restaurant."

Her smile faded.

"Like a date?" she said uncertainly. Scotty's heart plummeted. _Way to go, Valens. Go ahead an' fuck up already. _He took a deep breath.

"No," he began bravely, "not unless you wanna **make** it a date?"

Lilly hesitated, glancing up at him. Scotty pressed her hands together, wrapping his own around hers.

"Do you want it to be a date, Lil?"

"Well…well…what do YOU want?" the blonde replied cautiously. Scotty grinned at the non-answer. It was as if she was waiting, almost wanting to say yes, but needed him to say it first, and that thought made him want to dance with happiness.

"I want 'us' to work, Lil. An' I get that this ain't the best time, so I'm willin' to take this as slow as you need."

The blonde detective thought for a moment, taking in his words in an overwhelmed silence.

"So what now?" she asked eventually.

"Right now? I want to eat. With you. At that Cuban place near your house." His partner cracked a smile, the discomfort dissipating as she looked up at him.

"You mean near what's left of my house," she teased. Scotty groaned.

"Aw, shit, Lil. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"

"It's too early to eat," his partner interrupted gently, the teasing smile hanging around her lips. Scotty chuckled, taking that as the end of the conversation, and stood back as Lilly brushed past him.

"Alright, smartass." She slipped her hand out of his, aware of her partner's eyes lingering on her slim frame.

"Hey, Lil. You never answered my question," he said softly. The blonde sighed.

"Scotty…"

"Lil, it's OK. Dinner's jus' dinner between…friends."

Lilly raised a doubtful eyebrow.

"Friends?" Could they be friends if they ignored the 'having sex' part? Scotty nodded slowly.

"Yeah, friends. An' what happens after that? I guess that's up to you."

A crooked smile reappeared at the corner of her mouth.

"We're gonna have to talk about...it at some point, you know," she pointed out. Her partner chuckled, nudging her with his elbow.

"I know. But you gotta admit, Lil...we did do it pretty damn well."

* * *

The fuzzy feeling at the bottom of his stomach was almost unbearable. It was like a fire, consuming him from the inside out. Every thought, every breath, was filled with the memory of her soft warm body pressed tight against his. Scotty felt a familiar stirring in his loins, remembering the way her face had contorted as he brought her to completion. He was lucky everyone else had gone home; he'd hate to have to explain why he was starting to pitch a tent in his pants.

Scotty knew he'd never get anywhere unless he relieved some of the tension eating away at his insides. He stood up just as the woman in question returned from the bathroom.

"Hey," he said. She smiled softly.

"Hi."

Catching her hand, Scotty tugged at her wrist, gently leading her behind the filing cabinets. Lilly gasped, quickly turning it into a soft moan as her partner covered her lips with his. Wrapping her hands around the back of his neck, Lilly pulled him tight against her. When they finally broke apart, Scotty enveloped her in a tight hug.

"You're not playing by the rules, Valens," she said, her face turned into the crook of his neck. He chuckled.

"I know, and from now on, I'll be leavin' all o' the rule breakin' up to you, but it just feels so good to know I can do that."

Lilly blushed, smiling up at him.

"If you were looking for a way into my underwear, I think you've just found it," she replied. Scotty grinned cockily.

"Oh yeah? I thought I had a free pass into your panties, Rush."

"You wish. Talking of underwear, can we hit the store on the way home? I'm sorta starting to stink."

The male detective sniffed her hair, trailing his nose down her neck to reach the plane of her shoulder.

"You smell fine," he teased. Lilly narrowed her eyes.

"Thin line, Valens. Now take me to the store. I'm fed up of looking like a confused cross-dresser."

* * *

Lilly still had a smile on her face as the automatic doors slid shut behind her. _Dammit, Scotty. You just had to go and make me lo... _She managed to cut her inner voice off just in time, knowing if she started thinking **that**, then there would be no going back. Scotty's grinning face popped into her mind, and she was suddenly back in the car.

"_Drop me off here."_

"_Why?" Scotty asked in confusion._

"_Because it's Wal-Mart, and I have nothing to wear. In case you've forgotten, all my clothes were deep fried," the blonde detective pointed out._

"_But I hate shoppin'!"_

"_Stop whining. You can wait in the car."_

A loud crash made her jump, and Lilly spun around, her heart leaping into her throat. She breathed a sigh of relief, seeing a young girl pulling a cart away from the shelving unit. Taking a few breaths to calm her racing nerves, the blonde detective hid her hands in the pockets of her sweater, walking slightly faster towards the clothing section.

Lilly took a deep breath, wishing that Scotty was with her, and desperately trying to shake the feeling that her week was about to reach an all time low.

"You couldn't have just come in with me?" she muttered, jumping as a door flew open, slamming into the wall next to her. She felt an arm grab her waist, and was suddenly dragged into the store room.

"How's the jaw, Lilly?"

"You son of a bitch..." she gasped, not even standing a chance against his solid frame. Hot breath on her cheek made her stomach churn, and she upped her struggle to break free.

"Now I got a chance to finish what I started, but this time, little girl, I'm gonna make you scream," he hissed in her ear.

Lilly elbowed his stomach, wincing as a hand clamped over her mouth. He threw her to the ground. Her head collided with the concrete, and Lilly cried out in pain. She felt his thighs either side of her hips, heard the buckle of his belt, the zipper on his jeans, felt the...

"You were such a pretty girl," he crooned, stroking a finger down her cheek. She squeezed her eyes shut, pushing at the hands that were struggling with her hooded top.

"I never forgot you, Lilly," he whispered, covering her mouth with his hand. She screamed for help, the noise lost in his palm. He tore the jumper from her, leaving her in nothing but her bra. Tears poured from her eyes, and Lilly looked up at him in horror. Her attacker sat back on her hips, slipping his fingers beneath the elasticised waistband.

"All I wanted was for you to talk to me, Lilly," he said conversationally, "but ten-year-old Lilly Rush was too good for talking."

He began to push the joggers over her hips, and Lilly bit back another scream, waiting for the inevitable...

...but the weight was suddenly lifted, and she heard the unmistakeable growl of her partner.

"I'll kill you!"

Scotty appeared from nowhere, grabbing the man about to rape his partner and throwing him to the other side of the store room. Lilly hugged her knees to her chest, curling up against the cold concrete. She heard the unmistakeable smack of metal hitting skin, and squeezed her eyes shut, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I'll fuckin' kill you, you son of a bitch!" Scotty roared, beating the crap out of the man on the floor. Then everything changed. Scotty swore as a hand clamped around his leg, dragging him to the floor. The male detective winced as Lilly's attacker scrambled away, struggling to his feet and lunging towards the blonde lying immobile on the ground.

Lilly suddenly found herself yanked upright, and her eyes shot open.

"Scotty..." she whimpered, using her last ounce of strength in a final struggle to break free. Scotty dragged himself to a standing position.

"Let her go!" he yelled. He drew his gun, finger hovering over the trigger. The man slid a hand around to stroke her stomach, and Scotty watched his partner shake in terror, hearing her barely concealed sobs. Her captor raised her top, sliding his hand lower down her body. He grinned.

"Looks like we'll have to take yet another rain check, Lilly," he whispered. The male detective raised his weapon.

"Let her go," he said shakily. The hand moved lower, and Lilly bit her lip until it bled.

"I won't stop, Lilly. Not until I get what I want."

Scotty could take the shot. He could take the shot, and shoot to kill. But if Lilly moved her head an inch to the left...His finger hesitated above the trigger, and he swallowed the lump in his throat. Lilly raised her eyes to his.

"It's OK, Scotty," she said, the calmness of her voice belying the tears on her cheeks. Scotty's hands trembled.

"Don't make me do it, Lil," he whispered, his voice cracking. She smiled tremulously, nodding slightly.

"Take the shot," she replied, equally as softly. Scotty raised his weapon, his finger sliding back around the trigger.

"Don't do it, Detective!" the other man screamed, his face contorting in fury, "What if you miss? What if little Lilly here ends up with your round in her head? You wouldn't take the risk!"

A sudden stream of heavy footsteps and raised voices reached their ears, causing Scotty to glance over his shoulder in concern.

"So the cavalry's arrived," the man whispered into Lilly's ear, causing her to struggle against him. He roughly turned her head towards him, forcing a hard kiss to her lips. Lilly tore her mouth away, wincing at the sharp pain in her head. Her attacker dragged her backwards.

"I think that's my cue," he said teasingly. Scotty tightened his grip on his gun.

"Let her go, asshole," he growled. Keeping one arm wrapped around Lilly's waist, he moved backwards, reaching behind him to open the door on the far side of the storage room.

"I will...for now. But remember that I'm sticking around until I get her."

Stepping through the door, he breathed in the smell of her hair, smirking evilly over her head at the fuming detective. Three things seemed to happen at once. A single gunshot echoed through the room. Her attacker shoved her into the centre of the store room, and Lilly suddenly found herself falling to the ground, the unpleasant presence disappearing out into the dark night.

Time seemed to slow. Her body once again met with the cold concrete, only this time, she made no move to get up. She brought her knees to her chest, lying on the floor and letting tears drip from her cheeks. Scotty took a few steps towards her, dropping his gun to the ground. He moved to touch her, but she shrank away from his hand, crying out in fear. Scotty flinched, pain wrenching through his heart.

"Lil..."

"Don't," she whispered, so softly he almost missed it. With a hitched breath, he sank to the ground a few feet away from her, shrugging out of his jacket and placing it between them. After a moment, Lilly wiped the tears from her chin, slowly snaking out a hand to drag the jacket towards her. Wrapping it around her, she breathed in the softly reassuring smell that surrounded her.

Stillman burst through the door, closely followed by Jeffries and Vera. They all stopped short at the sight before them- Lilly, almost unrecognizable in her near catatonic state, and Scotty, sitting miles away from her. Seeing his boss in the doorway, Scotty glanced over at his partner, and pulled himself to his feet. Stillman watched the younger detective move slowly towards him.

"What happened?" he asked gently. Scotty shook his head.

"We...Lil wanted clothes...he...I fought...he...Lil..."

Whatever he had been about to say was lost as a wave of nausea washed over him. He tried again.

"Her...he...49..."

The memory of that man on top of Lilly, degrading her, violating her, raping her in every way except the obvious, sprang to his mind, and Scotty felt his knees buckle. As he crumbled, the contents of his stomach splashed onto the floor, his violent retches tearing through his body. Vera and Jeffries exchanged horrified glances, their eyes flicking between the man kneeling in front of them and their concerned boss.

Stillman crossed the room, crouching down beside Lilly and touching her shoulder. Her muffled scream wasn't lost on any of them, and the lieutenant hastily removed his hand, her reaction giving him all the answers he needed. Scotty's jacket slid from her shoulder, and Stillman stifled a gasp as he noticed that she was wearing nothing but her bra beneath the slowly came back to the men, the tightening of his jaw a sign of how angry he was.

"Find him," he said simply, his tone purveying far more than the simple words.

Scotty was vaguely aware of Vera and Jeffries leaving, and Stillman's breath hitching as he moved back, and a trembling hand coming to rest on the back of his neck, fingers gently running through the soft black hair. Scotty felt tears prick his eyes, and he wiped his mouth, slowly climbing to his feet. They stared at each other for what seemed like years, until Lilly took a step back, hugging his jacket tighter around her.

"I want to go home," she whispered, her voice breaking. She looked away, tears spilling down her cheeks. Scotty tentatively touched her little finger, and when she didn't flinch, took the whole of her hand in his.

"Why didn't you tell me, Lil? Why didn't you tell me it was him?"

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..."

Lilly dissolved into tears, and Scotty felt his heart break.

"I ain't gonna hurt you, Lil. You know that, right?" he said in a low voice. She nodded numbly.

"I know."

She moved towards him, seeming so small and defeated that the male detective thought he might throw up again.

"Lil..." he said uncertainly, keeping his hands well clear of her trembling frame.

"Please..."

Her whispered word was all the encouragement he needed. Scotty pulled her tight against his body in a fierce hug. He slid an arm around her shoulders, snaking a hand up to tangle in her blonde hair as he cradled her head against his chest.

Stillman knew they'd probably forgotten he was still there. For the first time, the lieutenant saw exactly how much damage George had done. His eyes travelled from her toes up to her scruffy ponytail. The bruise around her eye and jaw were carefully hidden by cleverly applied make-up, and the stitches in her head were barely visible. Scotty looked over his partner's head, frowning slightly.

"How'd you know?" he asked quietly. It took Stillman a moment to realise the question was aimed at him. He withdrew a small card from his pocket.

"You dropped this."

The male detective felt his frown deepen. It was his business card, one that had obviously fallen from his coat pocket. Stillman went on to explain.

"Shop assistant saw Lilly taken in there, saw you run in a few minutes later. He picked this up, phoned dispatch, and explained. Vera was listening to the scanner."

Lilly turned her head into his neck, her damp face cold against his heated skin. Her movement caught Scotty's attention. He took a deep breath.

"I'm taking her home," he said slowly. Stillman nodded.

"You do what you have to do."

"Will do, boss."

"Scotty, I mean it. You do what you have to do," he repeated meaningfully.

Scotty nodded in understanding. _You do what you have to do. _A smart man's 'Do what it takes'. A smart man's 'Screw the law'.

"I'll let you know."

With a final glance over them, Stillman disappeared into the store, leaving his two detectives trying to hold themselves together. Lilly trembled in his arms, and Scotty smoothed his jacket down her back.

"I'll get him, Lil," he whispered, "I promise."

And even though she didn't say anything, Lilly believed him.

* * *

He wasn't even sure if she had been in the car with him on the drive home. All he remembered was thanking God that he hadn't arrived a moment later, and thanking himself for persuading her to continue staying with him. Lilly hadn't spoken a word since leaving the store. She'd headed straight for the bathroom, shutting and locking the door before he had a chance to do anything. That had been almost an hour ago.

Scotty tapped on the bathroom door.

"It's me. Open up," he said softly. Soft sobs reached his ears, and he knocked more urgently on the door. "Lilly, open the door."

The shower was still running, and cold fear crawled up inside him.

"Open the door, Lilly!" he shouted, pounding on the wood. There was no reply from inside, and Scotty pressed his palm flat against the door.

"Get away from the door, Lil. I'm coming in."

It only took three kicks to smash the lock on the bathroom door. Scotty's breath hitched as he caught sight of his partner sitting naked on the floor of the shower cubicle. He slowly moved towards her.

"Lilly?"

She barely acknowledged him, only hugging her knees tighter to her chest. The male detective stuck his hand under the water, almost crying out as he realised it was freezing cold. He reached up to turn it off, before streams of red caught his eye. Scotty crouched down beside her, his eyes running over her. Finding the source of the blood, he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Your head's bleeding," he said gently, unpeeling her arms from her knees. He grabbed a towel from the side, carefully wrapping it around his partner's shivering frame.

"Got to get clean," she murmured, "Got to get clean."

The male detective slowly rubbed the towel up and down her arms, praying to God that she wasn't too far gone over the edge.

"I know, Lil," he whispered in reply, pressing a soft kiss to the side of her head.

"So cold..."

Scotty grabbed another towel, a larger one, covering his partner in it and helping her to a standing position. Lilly winced at the pain in her head, and she swayed on the spot for a moment.

"I'll get you some clothes," he said. Once again, there was no reply. Scotty looked down at her, his heart breaking as he saw the fear in her eyes and the tears spilling over her eyelids.

"Lil..." he said helplessly.

"I was so scared, Scotty," she cried. Leaving one arm wrapped tightly around her back, Scotty opened the bathroom door, before moving to sit down on the bed and pulling her into his lap. Lilly released a soft sob, tears dripping from her cheeks onto his shirt.

Scotty hugged her tightly, resting his cheek on the top of her head, carefully avoiding her head wound.

"It's OK...it's OK..." he murmured over and over.

If there was one thing more terrifying than a second attempt on his partner's life, he realised, it was seeing said partner shaking uncontrollably and crying into the material of his shirt. He held her until Lilly raised her head from his shoulder.

"Cold," she repeated in a small voice. The male detective carefully moved her onto the bed, grabbing the bed covers and tucking them around her.

"I'll be right back," he murmured, instinctively dropping a soft kiss to her forehead. Warmth spread from his lips, and for the first time that evening, Lilly felt the slightest _hint_ of an _idea_ of a smile pass through her mind. As promised, he was gone and back again before she could blink, holding a pair of his pyjama pants and a t-shirt.

"Here."

"Thanks," she replied, reaching out to take them from him. She blinked in surprise. "They're warm."

"Radiator."

"Smart."

Scotty smiled slightly, watching as Lilly unfolded the clothes. He turned away, listening as he tried to follow her changing clothes.

"You wanna talk about it?" he asked tentatively, knowing the answer before he'd finished the question.

"No."

"You gonna let me know if you change your mind?"

The teasing tone was not lost on her, and Lilly felt some of the darkness ease away.

"Because reliving it is the best course of action," she replied sarcastically. Even though the situation was dire, and he wasn't sure if he'd be able to help his partner, Scotty couldn't help but chuckle.

"OK, Lil."

She coughed, rubbing her throat.

"You can turn around now."

"There anythin' you need?"

"Painkillers," she replied, wincing as her hand found the wound on the back of her head. Scotty nodded.

"I'm gonna make something to eat. You wanna stay in..."

"NO!" Lilly cried quickly, "Don't leave me on my own!"

"Hey," he soothed, crouching down in front of her and forcing her eyes to meet his, "I ain't leavin', Lil."

Tearing her eyes away, Lilly blushed, letting him take her hand and lead her towards the living room. Scotty watched as she lowered herself to the sofa, crossing her legs and pulling the blanket around her shoulders.

"I'm gonna get you some Tylenol, OK?" he said softly. Lilly nodded.

"OK."

He knew exactly where they were, so in less time than it would have normally taken him, he was standing nearby.

"You need anythin' else?"

"No."

His heart plummeted, and he tried to ignore the stab of pain in his chest. _Don't take it personally, moron. She was almost raped, dumbass._ He turned away, preparing to head into the kitchen for a glass of water.

"I was ten."

At the barely audible voice from the sofa, Scotty froze. He turned back slowly, staring straight into his partner's startlingly clear blue eyes.

"I was ten...when that...bad thing happened to me," she whispered. Scotty sat down next to her.

"You don't have to do this, Lil."

Lilly nodded.

"Yeah I do, Scotty."

"But I ain't so sure I can listen, Lil," he said in a low voice, tentatively wrapping an arm around her slim back. When she didn't object, he drew her closer, and Lilly tucked her head under his chin.

"You're stronger than I am, Scotty."

He hugged her as tightly as he thought he could get away with, considering the events of the past hour.

"No, I ain't, Lil. I ain't as strong as you."

"Yes, you are. I wouldn't have been able to take the shot."

"But I missed, Lil. I fuckin' missed."

"You still took the shot, Scotty. You took a chance."

The calmness in her voice astounded him, and he released a shaky sigh.

"You were ten," he echoed quietly. Lilly smiled against his skin, and began to speak.

"It was dark, and my mother..."

* * *

How long was that chapter? :O I hope you didn't think that was too bad. I'd really appreciate any reviews you care to leave, and as always, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated! So are chocolate brownies. If they're bein' offered...


	7. Depletion

A/N I'm sorry it took so long to update, but I really had some serious personal stuff to sort out. I hope this chapter makes up for it- we have smut! Thanks to everyone who's been reading and reviewing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Cold Case, or anything to do with it.

* * *

**de·ple·tion**

**1. ****The act or process of depleting.**

**2. ****The state of being depleted; exhaustion.**

**3. ****The use or consumption of a resource, especially a natural resource such as energy, faster than it is replenished.**

*******

Scotty collapsed against the wall outside the bedroom, resting his head back against the closed door. She had told him. She had told him about her 49 report, and now he wish he didn't know. All those things he'd said...the way he'd yelled at her, rubbed what this sick pervert did to the little girls in her face...and all along she knew. Not only **knew**, but knew first hand.

Tears of guilt sprang to his eyes, the smell of her flooding the air around him. She had been curled up against him, innocently breaking his heart as she spoke. He raised a fist to his mouth, biting down on his knuckles to contain the outburst of emotion that threatened to break him.

_Lilly chuckled softly, snuggling into the crook of his arm._

_"Will you relax?" she murmured, "You're making me nervous."_

_Scotty relaxed slightly, pressing his face to the top of her head._

_"Sorry."_

"_Scotty, look at me," Lilly commanded gently. He pulled back to meet her concerned gaze. __Seeing the knowing glance she was aiming at him, he quickly tore his eyes away. She turned his head back towards her._

"_Why are you so scared of touching me, Scotty?"_

_He swallowed, edging away from her and making it to the other side of the room._

"_I...uh...I...you..."_

"_You think I'm damaged goods now? You don't want me anymore?" Lilly said, her suppressed anger bubbling up and spilling over. Scotty looked up in shock, his eyes darkening._

"_No! I just..."_

"_Just what, Valens?"_

_The last name was never a good sign. He looked away, shame colouring his cheeks. Lilly watched him run his hands through his hair. She saw him move to clench his fist, saw him think twice and lower his hand. __It was that vaguely concealed action that made her realise his problem._

"_You're not scared of hurting me..." she said in a hushed voice, "you're scared of how much you wanted to hurt him."_

_Scotty blinked back tears._

"_I woulda killed him, Lil. I was so close...so close to beatin' him, makin' him feel what..."_

"_Making him feel what the victims felt," Lilly finished. Her partner's head shot up, his eyes narrowing._

"_No, not the victims, Lilly! YOU! What he made __**you**__ feel!"_

_She managed to hide her flinch, swallowing the lump in her throat._

"_You're not like him, Scotty," she whispered, hugging the blanket tighter around her. Scotty swiped a hand over his eyes._

"_Ain't you gotta story to tell?" he muttered, signalling the end of that particular conversation thread._

"_Only if you get your ass back over here," Lilly replied sharply. __Nodding, Scotty sat back beside her, and she rested against him. She tucked her head under his chin. He slowly pressed a kiss to her hairline, feeling her tiny smile against his neck._

"_Better?" he asked._

"_Better."_

_Lilly cleared her throat. Taking a moment to prepare her opening statement, she closed her eyes._

_"It was a Wednesday. I remember because the benefit money had arrived," she began with a humourless smile. __Her partner twitched nervously, and Lilly placed her hand on his stomach to calm the anxiety she could feel stiffening his frame._

"_I put Chris to bed, like I did most nights, and I cleaned up, and I did my homework. Mom...Mom was on the sofa."_

_She shivered, a distance evident in her voice, one that told Scotty she was right back in that house, reliving every second of her memory._

"_She called me in, pressed a $20 into my hand. Told me that I was her little angel," Lilly said bitterly, "So I went. It was late. The shop was...the shop was about a ten minute walk away. I ran. Got a stitch in my side. I...I stopped...stopped to rest, and then..."_

_Her voice trailed off. Scotty waited, not wanting to speak until he was certain she'd finished._

"_He knew my name, Scotty. He started...walking towards me. I ran, but he chased me, and then there's nowhere to run...he kept telling me to scream, scream, Lilly, scream, but I didn't. I didn't."_

_Tears were crawling slowly down her cheeks, her eyes fixed on a point on the wall._

"_He hit me. Over and over again," she sobbed, tangling her fingers around his shirt in the hope that it would make everything better, "and he wants me to scream, but I don't. I tried to fight, Scotty, I did, but..."_

_She couldn't stop the tears anymore, and Scotty carefully pulled her into his lap, momentarily forgetting his problem with physical contact._

"_It's OK," he whispered soothingly, "it's OK."_

But of course it wasn't OK. He'd said it in the hope that maybe he could reassure himself. They'd sat on the sofa until Lilly had cried herself to sleep. Even as he had carried her sleeping form to the bedroom- his bedroom, because this was one night he didn't want her to spend alone- her sobs were already beginning to echo in his ears.

Scotty pushed open the door again, determined not to let her suffer under his watch anymore. At first glance, his bed wasn't very big. Seeing the small figure curled up under the covers, Scotty realised that his bed was actually huge. He leant against the doorframe, watching the shaky rise and fall of her chest.

Just as he pulled the bedroom door to for the second time, leaving it open enough for the room to be bathed in a dim light, there was a soft knocking at the front entrance. Fighting the temptation to check on Lilly a third time, Scotty jogged to open the door, frowning.

"Boss. Do we have a lead?" he asked. Stillman shook his head, and the male detective stood aside to let his boss in.

"Not yet, but we got DNA from the blood in the store room."

Scotty nodded slowly.

"Any hits?"

"Not yet. We're working on it," Stillman replied gravely.

"You, uh, wanna sit for a while?" Scotty asked. The lieutenant nodded, sinking down onto the sofa. Scotty perched on the edge of the armchair, casting occasional glances towards the bedroom.

"So what's goin' on, boss?"

"Vera took a call on Lil's work line," he began slowly. Scotty looked up, the vein in his forehead pulsing menacingly.

"Him."

Stillman nodded again.

"We think so. Didn't stick around long enough for us to trace the call. Vera damn near threw the phone across the room."

"You think he knows she's here?"

"No way to tell, Scotty."

Silence stretched between them.

"How's she doing? Stillman asked after a moment. The younger detective sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair.

"She's sleepin'. Cried herself to sleep. She...it...I don't think we can save her from this, boss."

Stillman observed him quietly, seeing the dark pain in his eyes, a different kind of pain that hadn't been there before.

"She told you, didn't she?" he said quietly. Scotty looked away, his jaw stiffening.

"Yeah," he choked out. The older man waited, knowing that his detective was fighting both his demons and the monsters that terrorized his partner.

"It was exactly the same, boss. That sicko...an' Lil..." Tears appeared in his eyes. "She looked so damn small, boss. Lyin' there on the floor...she was ten years old again."

His voice cracked, and Stillman sighed.

"Scotty, I don't know what's going on between you two, and I have a feeling I don't really want to know, but what I **do **know is that I've never seen Lilly rely on someone as much as she's relying on you."

Scotty took a deep breath, hastily wiping a hand over his face and clearing his throat.

"What's in the bag?" he asked. Stillman handed it over.

"I picked up some new clothes for Lil. They should fit."

"Thanks, boss."

"They're just clothes, Scotty."

The detective chuckled softly.

"I know, boss. I meant thanks for...for everythin'," he said softly. Stillman nodded, standing up.

"No problem, Scotty. Just...look after her."

"Always."

Stillman glanced towards the bedroom door, and shook his head.

"Take tomorrow. Both of you. Do something...normal."

"Normal?" Scotty said, the amusement in his voice a refreshing change to the dark despair that had been heard over the last few weeks. His boss chuckled, moving towards the front door and opening it.

"I'll leave you to it. Goodnight, Scotty."

"'Night, boss."

* * *

The screams started before he'd even had a chance to sit down again. He ran into the bedroom, hitting the light switch as he passed by. The bulb blew with a pop, and Scotty swore when the room was plunged into murky darkness. Lilly's hysterical sobs grew more intense as he sat down on the bed. It didn't take a genius to work out which part of her ordeal she'd been reliving.

"Lil...Lilly, it's only me. It's OK..." he said in a soft voice, touching her waist. Scotty winced as her flailing hand collided with his jaw. The solid surface beneath her hand seemed to jolt Lilly from her nightmare, and she sat bolt upright in the bed. She stared at him for a moment, her fingers tracing the contours of his face. Realizing that it was nothing but a dream, Lilly crawled into his arms and let her emotional barriers fall. Her body trembled under the force of her sobs.

What seemed like hours later, he felt her go limp in his arms, and waited a moment to see if she'd wake. When his partner made no move, Scotty lowered her to the bed, wrapping her in the sheets. Lilly shivered slightly, huddling further down under the covers, her eyes flying open.

The fear of suddenly not being in his arms receded slightly when her eyes came to rest on him. Scotty smoothed her hair away from her face, tenderly stroking her back. Lilly took a deep breath.

"Stay," she whispered. His smile faded, and a frown creased his forehead.

"I can't, Lil."

Lilly sat up slightly, reaching for his hand.

"Why?" she asked in confusion.

"It ain't right," he replied. The frustration was evident on her face as she replied.

"You obviously brought me in here for a reason, Scotty. Maybe I should have taken that hotel room after all."

"NO!" he exclaimed suddenly. The room fell into an uncomfortable silence, until Lilly spoke again.

"Scotty, why do you keep turning me away? You said you were leaving all the rule breaking up to me. Well...I want to break the rules, Scotty, but you keep changing your mind."

"Lil..."

"Why?" she demanded softly. His voice came out hoarse and broken.

"Because I don't want to hurt you."

She couldn't think of a reply, and tore her eyes away so he wouldn't see the tears threatening to spill. Scotty crossed to the other side of the room, running a hand through his hair. Lilly hugged her knees to her chest, lying down and curling up beneath the covers.

"Go to sleep, Scotty," she whispered sadly. He leant back against the far wall, watching her close her eyes.

"I was scared, Lil," he said quietly. Her eyes remained closed, but he continued anyway. "I was so scared that I was too late, because he...you..."

Scotty took a deep breath, forcing the words out and praying to God that she'd hear them.

"I missed the shot. I fuckin' missed the goddamn shot! An' now he's...you trusted me, an' I let you down, Lil. I shoulda gone wit' you into the store, an' then maybe..." His voice trailed off. "I know how hard it was for you to tell me about your 49, Lil, but..."

"But now you wish you didn't know," came the small voice from the bed. He closed his eyes, reaching for the door handle.

"Let me know if you need anythin'."

* * *

It turns out that absence really does make the heart grow fonder. And, as Scotty was finding out, when the heart wants something, the rest of the body has no choice but to obey. He stretched his legs out on the floor in front of him. He'd promised himself that Lilly wouldn't be left alone, but the tension inside the room had become too much to bear, and he'd settled for the next best thing...sitting on the floor outside the door.

Lilly whimpered softly, and Scotty knew that it wouldn't be long before another nightmare had her screaming and turning to him for safety. Moving silently, the male detective stood up, pushing open the bedroom door, and creeping across to the bed. He sat down beside his partner, her knees resting against his hip.

Scotty swept a strand of hair from Lilly's face, twirling it carefully around his fingers. He studied it, watching it shift from blonde to white and back again. He became so engrossed in the lock of hair, Scotty failed to notice the pair of blue eyes that were now staring up at him.

"Hi," Lilly breathed. Her partner pulled his hand back as if he had been burnt. Scotty swallowed.

"I'm…"

The end of his reasoning was cut off as Lilly sat up, her nose bumping against his as she kissed him. After one of the longest minutes of his life, Scotty pulled back, closing his eyes in regret.

"We can't..."

"Why? I want this, Scotty. I need this," Lilly replied softly, her eyes imploring him to stay. Her words threw all the doubt from his mind, and the male detective didn't waste any more time, placing his hands on her waist and gently lowering her back to the bed. The male detective leant over her, deepening the kiss. Lilly smiled against his lips, her fingers resting at the back of his neck.

With a sharp jerk, Lilly pulled him down so that he was laying half on top of her, half beside her. Scotty chuckled, lifting the hem of her t-shirt to brush his hand over her skin. Beneath him, his partner shifted, aligning every part of their bodies. He felt himself spring to attention, the hardness quickly becoming unbearable. The kisses they shared were hot, intense, nothing short of miracles. Scotty tugged at her top. Smiling, Lilly dragged her lips away from his, looking up at him. Her partner stared down at her, waiting for her to tell him to continue.

When the blonde detective continued to look at him for a moment too long, her smile fading slightly, Scotty rolled his eyes.

"If we ain't gonna do this, you better let me know now, Lil," he growled.

"Impatient," she teased breathlessly. He attacked her lips passionately, lifting the material over her head, tossing it to the floor. Tracing her hands over his chest, Lilly's nimble fingers wandered down his body and set to work on the drawstring of his pyjama pants. Her fingers brushed against his erection, and Scotty groaned. Lilly felt her eyes widen.

"Wow. This is almost impressive, Valens," she quipped in a husky voice. Scotty pressed his leg between her thighs, smirking at the heat emanating from her core.

"Way to stroke a guy's ego, Lil," he replied, catching her lips in a passionate kiss. Her hands pushed the pants from his hips, snaking her tongue out to stroke his. Now they were skin to skin, and it made Lilly's mind turn circles.

Feeling her moan softly against his lips, Scotty slid his hand down her body, brushing over her breasts, and down to the lace rim of her panties. Her breath caught in her throat, and he slid a finger beneath the material to stroke her.

Lilly whimpered into his mouth. Scotty smiled against her lips, slipping his finger into her core. His partner managed to tear her mouth away from his to cry out in ecstasy. He painted pictures on her walls, driving her closer and closer to the edge with each touch.

"Fuck..." she hissed, clutching at his slick shoulders. Scotty chuckled, adding another finger and starting to pump them in and out.

"You're so wet," he whispered into her ear, and her whimper of reply did nothing but cause him to grow harder. Using his free hand, he removed the panties, tossing them to the floor as he rubbed her clit with the pad of his thumb. His partner felt the pressure begin to mount.

"Scotty!" she cried. Grinning, he dragged his hand away from the heart of her, drawing it up to her breast. Lilly moaned at the loss of contact.

Pushing himself up on his elbows, Scotty looked down at her, taking in the radiant blush spreading across her cheeks. His eyes wandered downwards, his smile fading as he studied her. Seeing his expression, Lilly stroked his cheek, frowning slightly.

"What?"

"You're beautiful," he whispered. A smile spread appeared on her face, and she brought his lips back to hers. His erection brushed against her bare thigh, and Lilly groaned at its weight on her leg.

"Please, Scotty..." she begged. His tongue ran over her bruised lip, the metallic taste bitter in his mouth. He broke away, nudging her forehead with his.

"Be right back," he murmured, disappearing into the bathroom. Propping herself up on one, Lilly watched him vanish from sight, listening to the sound of the cupboard opening and closing. Fully sheathed, he quickly slid back into the bed beside her. Scotty rolled her onto her back, leaning over and smiling down at her. He ran a hand down her naked side, and a shiver followed the path of his hand. Bringing her to him, the detective placed a loving kiss to her lips, so soft that it left Lilly burning for more.

Scotty gently eased himself into her, pressing a soft trail of kisses along her jaw line and up to the spot beneath her ear. She bit her bottom lip, stifling her cry of pleasure by burying her face in his neck. He filled her completely, stretching her walls and taking up more than his fair share of her senses. Lilly turned her head to meet his lips, snaking her hands around to stroke his back. A groan caught in her throat as he pulled out to his tip, and she fidgeted distractedly. Scotty chuckled, holding himself above her entrance.

"You sure you wanna do this, Lil?" he teased. His partner smiled against his lips, raising her hips to meet his.

"Yes," she replied in a husky voice. The male detective got the hint, and slid back into her until he was buried to the hilt.

"Holy shit," he moaned.

"Move," Lilly demanded breathlessly.

So he did, slow, luxurious movements that sent shivers racing through her every time their hips collided. Lilly's breathy gasps punctuated the steady rhythm, and she drew his head back to kiss him again. His tongue swept the roof of her mouth, his heart softening at the taste he had come to know as pure Lilly- the taste of which he could never get enough.

Scotty seemed to apologize with every pass of his lips over hers, every stroke of his fingers across her skin. Lilly wasn't entirely sure what he was apologizing for. The last time, before she freaked out, they had moved together out of anger, fucking each together until they literally melted into one.

This time...this time they really were making love.

* * *

OK, so it's 3am, and I can't sleep. This is the result. Fluff, smut, angst, all thrown in to one. OK? Maybe you could leave me a review to cheer me up?


	8. Synchronization

A/N I kinda just threw this together because I felt bad for waiting so long! :) I hope it doesn't disappoint you too much! BTW, who's watching American Idol? Who do ya'll want to win?

Disclaimer: Nope. I own a broken piano, a dog, three cats and some milk that's way past its sell-by date.

* * *

**syn·chro·niza·tion**

**1. ****To occur at the same time; be simultaneous.**

**2. ****To operate in unison.**

When his alarm went off at 9 the next morning, Scotty turned it off, feeling a pair of slim legs wind around his.

"No..." Lilly whined, gently slapping his chest. He chuckled, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"We gotta get up, Lil."

"No...after what you did to me, you're lucky I can still move," his partner grumbled. Scotty pulled her towards him, letting her move her head onto his chest.

"I'm so tired, Scotty," she murmured, the sadness in her voice telling him that she was no longer talking about their recent exertions. He smoothed her hair away from her face, his fingers soft against her cheek.

"I know, baby," he replied softly.

Any protest she might have made at the endearment was lost as sleep began to rob the blonde detective of her power of speech, instead coming out as a muffled mumble against the planes of his chest.

"Sleep," he said softly, "I've got you."

Lilly snuggled into him, resting her arm on his stomach.

"I know."

* * *

Later that afternoon, Lilly stumbled into the kitchen, wearing his t-shirt and her discarded panties. She blinked at the sudden brightness, seeing her partner sitting at the kitchen table.

"What time is it?" she grumbled, sulkily rubbing a hand over her eyes. Scotty chuckled at the scowl on her face, and stood up to block the sun.

"A little after two," he replied.

"You didn't wake me?"

"I thought I'd let you sleep. Thought you might need it," Scotty pointed out with a smile. His partner suddenly realized how close they were standing, and a shy smile spread across her face, running her fingertips over his bare chest.

"Hi," she said. He grinned, linking his hands in the small of her back and pulling her closer.

"Hi."

Lilly raised herself onto her tiptoes, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. Her partner tightened his arms around her waist, moving forward until her back was leaning against the counter.

"What is it with you, me, and this counter?" she laughed. Scotty waggled his eyebrows.

"I don't know, Lil. Must be somethin' in the air."

She rolled her eyes.

"I'm going to take a shower..." she said, leaving the sentence hanging. Scotty grinned mischievously.

"Need some company?" he suggested in a low voice. Lilly nodded seriously.

"Those showers can be real lonely."

Laughing, he easily scooped her up into his arms, sliding his hands under her backside, and letting her wrap her legs around him. The blonde detective placed soft kisses down his neck, giggling slightly as he walked towards the bathroom. She shifted lower on his hips, groaning when she felt his hardness pressing against her centre. Lilly lowered her legs to the floor, tugging on the waistband of his boxers to draw him further into the room. His tongue delved deeper into her mouth, lifting her t-shirt to caress the smooth skin at her waist. Making sure his hands would not leave her waist, the blonde detective pushed the bathroom door shut, reaching into the shower cubicle to turn the water on.

Scotty lifted the material over her head, throwing it to the floor and laying a trail of kisses over the slope of her breasts and down, down to the peaks, taking a hard nipple into his mouth. Crying out as his tongue flicked the sensitive nub, Lilly hastily removed his boxer shorts, letting his erection spring free.

The mirror was beginning to steam up, and Scotty tore the tiny scrap of material away from her centre. Fumbling around in the cupboard drawer for a condom, Lilly smirked as her fingers closed around the foil square, and she skilfully encased his member in rubber. Grinning and once again taking her into his arms, he backed her into the shower cubicle, forcing her against the cold tiled wall.

Tangling his fingers through hers, he brought their hands up to either side of her head. Scotty groaned as he felt his tip push against Lilly's slick folds. She leant her head back against the tiling, and with one forward thrust of her hips, managed to engulf his length in her slick heat.

Scotty shuddered, releasing her hands so that he could hold her still as he allowed her to adjust to his size. He managed to break his lips away from hers, gently biting down on her earlobe, something he'd recently learnt drove his partner crazy. After a moment of just savouring her tight walls surrounding him, the male detective began to move, cupping her ass as he thrust into her.

"God, Scotty..." she gasped, clutching at the walls.

He crushed his lips, his cock reaching deep within her. His tongue snaked past her lips, and Lilly trembled against him, her release approaching fast thanks to her already sensitive core. The hot water trailed over them, adding extra heat to their bodies. Scotty increased the pace of his thrusts, her breathy moans only making him harden inside her even more. Lilly dug her nails into his shoulders, her lips beginning to bruise under the force of his kisses. Her partner groaned, tightening his grip on her waist.

"Holy mother of God," he murmured, his voice muted by her lips. She could feel the pressure beginning to mount, and she met his thrusts more urgently.

"Scotty..."

It seemed that he'd taken the hint, because a hand slid between their wet bodies to stroke her centre, finding the swollen bud and squeezing it gently. Lilly cried out, bucking wildly against his hand. Her wet hair stuck to her face, and Scotty realized she had never looked more attractive than she did at that moment.

The attention he was paying to her core sent the blonde detective flying over the edge, and she wrapped her arms around his back, holding him tight against her. Feeling her muscles clenching rhythmically around him, Scotty groaned.

"Lil..."

His hips jerking erratically, he came with a low grunt, pressing Lilly more tightly against the wall. They floated down together, and when she found the strength, the blonde detective lowered her legs, sinking back against the tiles. The water trailed down over their bodies, washing the mixture of sweat and bodily fluids into the drain. His semi-erect member twitched, and Lilly winced slightly. Scotty chuckled, pressing a kiss to her damp forehead.

"We have to stop doing that," she murmured. He nodded, his chin grazing her smooth shoulder.

"We'll walk it off."

Lilly pulled her head back to look up at him doubtfully.

"Walk it off? Scotty, I might as well have a sign on my back that says 'I have just been thoroughly fucked'."

He grinned.

"I'm gonna take that as a compliment."

* * *

Their 'walk' was almost enough to make her completely forget that her life was in danger.

Almost.

So when the drunk moved a little too close, leered at her a little too obviously, Lilly edged closer to her partner, holding her head down as she walked beside him. Despite her nonchalance, Scotty knew she was scared. He drew her into his side, casually tangling his fingers around hers and squeezing them slightly.

When she stumbled, Lilly grabbed at his shirt, feeling his warm frame there to steady her. As they stood staring at each other in surprise, a car backfired. Lilly jumped, failing to conceal a soft gasp.

"Lil, it's OK. It's OK," Scotty reassured, sliding his hands up to her shoulders.

The blonde detective flinched at the unexpected touch, and he quickly pulled away. Scotty narrowed his eyes.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing," Lilly replied quickly. He shook his head.

"I can't believe you're doin' this again."

Lilly stared at him, anger flashing in her eyes.

"Doing what?" she questioned defensively. Scotty waved a hand at her.

"This. Freakin' out. Actin' all...jumpy."

"Well, sorry if I'm slightly concerned about the man trying to kill me!"

He sighed heavily.

"That ain't what I meant, an' you know it."

"Then what did you mean, Scotty?"

"I just...I thought that you were OK with us?"

"I am, but this is big, Scotty. This is too important to screw up, and right now I'm not sure where we're going with this."

Scotty shook his head in confusion, reaching for her hands and holding them tightly.

"But I don't understand! I thought you wanted this!"

"I do," Lilly replied sadly, "and you have to know I'm not changing my mind, but we've been pretending that there's **not** somebody trying to kill me, and it's all just..."

"Catchin' up?" he finished softly. A tiny smile graced her lips.

"Yeah."

The male detective released her hands, caressing her cheek.

"I can help, Lil."

"Those little girls, Scotty. We've been forgetting about those little girls. I just need...I just need..."

Lilly raised her fingers to his mouth, tracing his lips.

"He'll use you. He'll use you to get to me, and...I can't let that happen."

"So you're callin' a time out?" Scotty said, irritation tainting his words. She sighed.

"If you just let me explain..."

He held up a hand, stopping the words that were about to stumbled from her mouth.

"Save it, Lil. Now I told you I'd wait, an' I will...but there's a point, Lil. There's a point."

She stared at him, watching as he began to walk away. Lilly was left alone on the sidewalk, shivering slightly. She hesitated, caught between going after him and following her instincts, which were screaming at her to run in the opposite direction.

"Fuck!"

The drunk was back, and seeing the male detective disappearing from sight, made his way towards her. Barely thinking twice, Lilly ran after her partner.

"Scotty!" she called helplessly. He turned in surprise. Lilly came to a stop a few feet in front of him, desperately trying not to burst into tears. She suddenly closed the gap between them, flinging her arms around his neck and clinging on for life. He pulled her body tight against his, resting his cheek on her soft blonde hair. Lilly buried her face in his shoulder, releasing the air she didn't realise she'd been holding.

"Every time I let you leave it seems to make me need you a little bit more," she said in a rushed breath. Scotty sighed, running his hands up her back.

"You always have this much trouble makin' up your mind?" he asked in a soft voice. Into the material of his shirt, the blonde detective made a noise that was halfway between a sob and a laugh.

"No more backin' out, OK?"

Lilly shook her head, clutching at his shirt. Scotty grinned, impulsively kissing the top of her head. She shuddered against him, hugging him fiercely.

"Take me home," she whispered. A warm feeling spread through his chest at her Freudian slip.

"Yes, ma'am."

* * *

They'd started off in a comfortable silence, her arm looped through his as they'd walked back towards his apartment. But something had changed.

Maybe it was the way she was hugging his arm to her chest, her breasts warm through the material of his shirt. It could have been the brush of his hand over the smooth skin of her neck when he draped his arm around her shoulders. The smell of his aftershave surrounding her, his breath soft in her ear, her breaths growing shallower as she felt heat pool between her thighs...

The apartment door had only just shut. Lilly's lips crushed into his, her hands grabbing the front of his shirt to draw him closer. Scotty's breath caught, and then his arms were circling her waist, pushing her slight form against the wall.

They broke apart long enough to share a startled look, before their lips were attached again. Lilly's hands snaked up to the back of his head, deepening the kiss. Scotty felt his tongue gently probe into her mouth, pinning her hips to the wall. His fingers raised the material of her t-shirt, stroking her waist. Lilly wrapped her hands around the back of his neck, clinging to him as she savoured the hard lines of his body pressed against her.

Scotty moved his fingers to the front of her shirt, slowly pulling it over her head. Her nails dug into the sensitive skin at the back of his neck, her hands sliding down beneath the collar of his shirt as she began to undo the buttons. The material fell to the floor, and the male detective gasped when Lilly reached between them to cup his growing erection.

"Jesus, Lil..."

A sharp ringing removed all ideas of anything remotely sexual from their minds. Lilly groaned, resting her forehead against his shoulder.

"Leave it," she murmured. Scotty chuckled.

"You really want Boss breakin' the door down to see why we didn't answer?"

She pinched his arm, sighing in frustration and unsatisfied lust.

"Make it quick," she whispered, and Scotty could have sworn she made her voice that little bit more seductive just to elicit a response.

Maybe the response came from the hand that was quietly undoing the fastener on his jeans, the fingers that were surreptitiously sneaking lower beneath the denim. Hearing the strangled gasp that crept from his throat, Lilly smirked, giving his hardness tender stroke. Scotty jerked involuntarily, and narrowed his eyes in warning.

"Not funny, Lil," he hissed. She rolled her eyes.

"Talk fast."

Scotty picked up the phone, smiling as his partner peeled herself away from him.

"Hello?"

"Scotty," Stillman said. The lieutenant didn't need to say anything else. The smile slid from the younger detective's face, and feeling her partner tense, Lilly looked up at him in confusion.

"When?" he said shortly. Another pause.

"Where? Then...yeah. I'll call you later."

Snapping it shut, Scotty threw his phone to the sofa. Lilly watched in silence.

"We have to go," he said seriously, gently grabbing her arm.

"Why?

"Just get dressed."

Lilly yanked her arm from his grip as she stopped.

"Not until you tell me why," she said, her quiet voice dangerous. Scotty looked back. Seeing the pain in his eyes, her heart stopped.

"No..." she whispered. He took a step towards her.

"Lil..."

"No!" she shouted frantically. Scotty brought her close to him, sliding a hand up her neck to cup her face, wiping away her tears with his thumb.

"Lilly, listen to me," he murmured, "He can't hurt you. He can't hurt you."

"But he can hurt them, Scotty! Oh God...he's killing them. He'll kill them, and he won't stop, and he's hurting them...so much pain..."

Giving her a gentle shake, the male detective felt bile rise up in his throat, and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I'm here, Lil. He can't get to you here," he said quietly. Her hysterical words of fear and pain and anger began to slow, and she loosened her hold on his wrist. Tears spilled over his hand, falling into the space between them. After what seemed like forever, Lilly spoke, her voice hoarse and raw.

"I don't think this is ever going to end."

"I won't let that happen, Lilly."

She raised her dead blue eyes to his.

"But he's never going to stop, Scotty."

* * *

Taking her hand in his, Scotty led her into Homicide department, feeling her trembling frame shiver again. She froze, looking through the window to the whiteboard, and watched Jeffries stick up two more photos.

"Two?" she questioned faintly. Stillman cleared his throat.

"You shouldn't be here."

Lilly turned to look at him, pain shooting through her head from the headache that had suddenly reappeared.

"What aren't you telling me?" she demanded. Vera shook his head.

"Go home, Lil."

Scotty squeezed her hand.

"Come on, Lil," he whispered in her ear, "let me take you home."

"We just got here," she replied stubbornly, "and I want to know what they're hiding from me."

Jeffries stepped into the bullpen, exchanging glances with his male colleagues. Vera took a step forward, his face pale and serious.

"He's escalatin', Lil," he said quietly, knowing that would be all she needed to hear to work out what they were keeping from her. The little colour slid from her cheeks.

"He...he...raped them?" she said, her voice faltering. Stillman nodded slowly.

"Raped, beaten and..."

Scotty coughed, shaking his head, and the lieutenant swallowed whatever it was he had been about to say. They should have known that even in her condition, nothing would escape their blonde colleague.

"What else?"

Her partner moved closer, his eyes darkening.

"Lil..." he said, his voice barely audible. She felt tears spring to her eyes.

"I have to know, Scotty."

He swallowed the lump in his throat, nodding.

"He pours alcohol down their throats," he said in a low voice, "Makes 'em drink it until they throw up."

They watched the different emotions play out across her face. She was silent, staring at the floor.

"That's not it," she whispered after a moment. With a resigned sigh, Stillman slid his hand into his pocket, withdrawing a crumpled evidence bag. He handed it to her, and watched as she extended a shaking hand to take it.

Looking over her shoulder, Scotty heard her breath hitch, and subconsciously pulled her towards him. Together, they stared down at the plastic encased paper.

'_**Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life'**_

_**I stop when you stop, Lilly.**_

Lilly swayed on the spot. For a moment, Scotty thought that she was about to pass out, but she just stood there, taking in what he'd told her. Stillman took a step forward, and at Scotty's scared glance, shrugged uncertainly.

"Lil?"

Vomit rose up in the back of her throat, and the blonde detective tore her hand away, heading for the nearest trash can. They winced as she collapsed against the wall, the contents of her stomach landing in the bin.

"All my fault," she gasped. Soft sobs racked her slim frame, and Scotty took a tentative step towards her.

"Lil..."

"This is all my fault! They're all dead because of me!"

"Lilly, listen to me..." Scotty began, reaching out to touch her arm.

"Don't," she whispered brokenly. He ignored her, rubbing circles on her back until she straightened.

"You ain't alone," he replied gently. She turned to him, looking up at him in despair as tears crawled down her cheeks. Lilly fell into his waiting arms, clinging to his shirt and letting her tears soak his chest. Scotty hugged her against him, moving to the nearest chair.

"It's OK," he soothed, pressing his face to her soft hair, "it's OK."

The note fluttered to the floor and the three older men stared at it, jaws tightening, eyes darkening, fists clenching.

'_**Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life'**_

**_I stop when you stop, Lilly._**

**_

* * *

_**

So I know you all hate me right now. Take a ticket and join the line. I'm pretty certain this is the penultimate chapter, so things will be resolved fairly quickly, I think. Anyway, I hope you could leave me a review to let me know how you think I could improve this chapter!


	9. Resolution

A/N Don't ya just hate technology? How many of you had that same problem logging into FanFiction? It totally sucked! But anyway, here you go! The final chapter. I hope you're not too disappointed with it, so fingers crossed, OK? Oh right, and see if you can find my offering to the God that is the one and only Nick Stokes from CSI. Yum. One more thing...I love you guys! :D

Disclaimer: For the final time, call my attorney! His name is Oscar. We just call him Oscar the Grouch. He's handling the custody battle.

* * *

**res·o·lu·tion**

**1****. The act of resolving.**

**2. ****The state or quality of being resolute; firm determination.**

**3. Bringing things to an indefinite end.**

*******

They lay with limbs entangled under the sheets. Moonlight streamed through the bedroom window, casting shadows over the floor and across the bed. Scotty's hand rested lightly on the curve of her hip, his fingers soft against the smooth skin of her waist. Lilly smiled slightly as she felt the giveaway shift of his legs against hers.

"You can stop pretending to be asleep now."

Scotty sighed, rubbing her side tenderly.

"I was hopin' you wouldn't notice."

She closed her eyes, letting his soothing strokes calm her nerves.

"I'm sorry I cried all over you earlier," she murmured. He pressed a soft kiss to her cheek, pulling her back against him.

"You don't have to apologize for cryin', Lil."

"I guess I must have fallen asleep, right?"

Her partner chuckled.

"I don't think Vera's ever seen you sleepin' before," he said. Lilly smiled, shrugging.

"Thanks for bringing me home."

"You are welcome," Scotty replied. She lifted the covers to take in her clothing.

"And thanks for undressing me, too," she said wryly. Scotty grinned, kissing the outer shell of her ear.

"You are _definitely_ welcome. But I did let you keep your underwear."

"I don't think that counts."

"Hey, what time is it?"

The blonde detective looked up at the luminous red digits.

"A little after three," she informed him. They settled into a comfortable silence, soaking up the warmth the other provided and desperately trying to stop their content little bubble from bursting. Scotty curled himself around her, folding his arm into the shape her body made. Lilly pillowed her head on his arm, smiling at the realization that she was spooning with Scotty Valens.

"What are you thinkin' about?"

His voice made her jump, and a shiver raced down her spine before she could catch it.

"Just thinking," she replied apologetically, knowing that he must have felt her tremor. Scotty gently kissed her shoulder, his hand fiddling with the lace rim of her panties.

"You're scared," he said in a barely audible voice. Lilly nodded.

"Yeah."

His chin pressed gently into the crook of her neck.

"You think this is your fault, 'cause you reckon that maybe if you didn't keep survivin', maybe if you didn't keep pissin' him off, he wouldn't keep killin' little girls."

Lilly heard her breath catch in her throat.

"How do...you...how?" she stammered. Scotty's lips found her neck, and she relaxed into him.

"Because I know you, Lil. You think that you gotta fix everythin', be everyone's hero. But sometimes you jus' can't," he said sadly. She reached for his hand, bringing it around to clasp tightly between her own.

"She knew, Scotty. Elissa knew that you tried to save her."

Somehow, Scotty realised, in that magical way of hers, his partner had uncovered the hidden meaning behind his words. He turned her to face him, and the instant before their lips met, Scotty knew that his feelings were quickly reaching the point of no return. Gasping slightly at the intensity of the kiss, Lilly wound her fingers through his hair, throwing her leg over his to draw him closer. His tongue teased the curve of her lips, and she eagerly opened her mouth to him.

When they finally broke apart, breathing heavily, the male detective grinned cheekily, the moonlight reflecting off his skin.

"So you always wanted me this bad, Rush?"

Lilly pinched his arm, rolling her eyes. She couldn't hide the content smile that spread from her lips.

"Like you're complainin'."

Scotty chuckled, hugging her slim frame towards him as she moved her cheek onto his chest. They snuggled together, remaining silent for a while. When Scotty spoke again, his voice was serious.

"Hey, Lil?"

Hearing the tone of his voice, she turned, looking up at him. Trepidation rose up in her throat.

"Yes?" she managed to whisper. Scotty cleared his throat nervously.

"You had a chance to go to the real estate office yet?"

"No. Why?"

"'Cause I don't want you to leave," he replied quietly. Lilly moved her head to stare up at him.

"What are you saying, Scotty?"

"I'm sayin' move in wit' me. I know it's quick, an' maybe it won't work, but I'm thinkin' that..."

He was cut off by her lips capturing his. Lilly laughed in relief, planting a soft kiss to the lines of his jaw.

"I think I'd like that."

Scotty grinned again, flipping his partner onto her back. Lilly smiled, linking her hands behind his neck.

"Me too," he replied, reaching beneath her to unclasp her bra.

"What are you doing?" she asked in amusement. He nuzzled into the crook of her neck, his tongue dancing over her skin.

"This definitely has to go," he murmured, tossing the bra to the floor. Lilly giggled, letting him move lower on her body. His teeth grazed over her nipple, and he gently tugged it into his mouth. She arched her back, raising her chest to him.

"Scotty...so good..." she gasped. Her partner groaned at his growing erection, increasing the pressure on her breast. Lilly's 'detective radar' suddenly stood to attention. She froze, her lust rapidly turning to fear. Feeling her stiffen underneath him, Scotty pulled back slightly.

"What is it?"

Then he heard the sound of smashing glass, and pushed himself up off her, his eyes widening.

"He's here," Lilly breathed. Scotty rolled to the side, reaching for his gun. Lilly slid out of bed, holding the sheet to her bare chest as she straightened her panties. Quickly replacing her bra, the blonde detective pulled her partner's shirt over her arms. They exchanged a glance, moving towards the bedroom door in silence. Lilly bent down to retrieve her own weapon from the pile of clothing beside the bed.

They could hear the footsteps steadily growing louder.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are," he called. Lilly swallowed, her hand moving to the door handle. Scotty caught her wrist, his eyes compelling her to stay still.

"Lil, you can't…"

She silenced him with a kiss, short and hot.

"This is what I do," she whispered, opening the door.

"Lilly," he hissed after her. The blonde detective turned back with a small smile.

"I have to do this, Scotty."

"Why?"

"Because 'he stops when I stop'."

Scotty knew there was no changing her mind once it was made up, so he didn't even try. He took a deep breath.

"Be careful."

"I will. You gotta do something for me, Scotty."

"Anythin'."

"Wait here," Lilly whispered, "Call Boss, but stay out of the other room."

"Lil..." he began in disbelief. Her breath hitched, and he caught the slight choking of tears.

"Please, Scotty."

In the darkness, his eyes met hers, and he could feel the heat from her gaze.

"Aren't you scared?" he asked. He saw her nod, swearing to God that she smiled too.

"Terrified," she replied shakily.

"But you're doin' it anyway," he realized slowly, silently moving down the hallway to caress her cheek. Lilly slid a hand up to rest on his chest, kissing him gently.

"Promise me when this is over you'll still be here," she murmured. Scotty felt tears prick the back of his eyelids, and with a lump rising in his throat, he pushed her towards the living room.

"I always keep my promises."

* * *

His voice echoed across the room.

"No surprises this time, Lilly. You knew I'd be here."

"No surprises," she admitted.

"Aren't you scared, Lilly? Aren't you wondering what I'm going to do to you when I get you?"

"No," she replied bravely.

"Liar!" he screamed suddenly, "You're terrified! I know it!"

Lilly swallowed.

"That's what gets you off, isn't it? Their fear. You make them scream."

"They were such pretty girls. So pretty."

"I didn't scream." He sniffed.

"I like your shampoo, Lilly. Vanilla, right?"

"I didn't scream," she repeated. His frustration was growing. She could feel it.

"No, no you didn't. Not then. Not until our third meeting. Then you screamed."

"Who are you?"

He chuckled menacingly.

"I'm the thing from your dreams, Lilly. I'm nobody. I'm nothing…"

"I meant your name," she interrupted through gritted teeth. He chuckled again.

"You can call me John," he replied casually. Lilly rolled her eyes.

"As in John Doe? Original."

"It doesn't matter what my name is. You know what I want," he said, finally stepping into the light. She had thought monsters were meant to be horrifying to see. She had thought they were meant to be ugly, intimidating, powerful. Not middle aged men who could have been your Uncle Joe. John Doe caught the flicker of surprise that flitted across her face, and he grinned sadistically.

"You like what you see, Lilly? We could always have a little...break in the interrogation."

Her stomach churned.

"If you're going to kill me, I'd hurry up and do it. This place will be swarming with cops in a minute," she said. His eyes roamed over her figure, up her slim legs, to her chest. Scotty's shirt hung loose on her, revealing enough cleavage to make his lower body begin to pay closer attention.

Lilly shifted uncomfortably, and she watched his eyes light up.

"Did I disturb you?" he asked gleefully. She swallowed.

"I was sleeping," she lied. John Doe giggled maniacally, shaking his head.

"You were screwing your partner again!"

She tensed.

"What do you mean 'again'?"

"I've been watching you, Lilly. You and your partner."

"You...you...watched?" she repeated in a faint voice, feeling slightly sick at the realisation that he didn't need to rape her to be intimate with her: he'd already seen her in action.

"I have to say, Lilly, you were everything I thought you would be," he continued, "and more."

* * *

Scotty slowly opened the bedroom door, listening to the voices coming from the living room. Hearing the lewd comments being thrown at his partner, he felt his stomach churn, and took a deep breath. He flipped open his cell phone, dialling a number and holding his gun to his side.

"Scotty?" Stillman answered in concern, barely sounding as if he's just been asleep. Maybe he hadn't.

"He's here, boss. This wackjob is in my apartment."

The lieutenant gasped slightly.

"Where's Lilly?"

"She's gone, boss. She went out to...to talk to him, or somethin'..."

"I'm on my way. Plan of action's up to you, Scotty."

Scotty took a deep breath, trying to control his rampaging emotions.

"Call Jeffries and Vera," he said slowly, "No backup, 'cause he'll hear you comin'. Come up to the fourth floor, apartment 218. Wait outside. If you hear gunshots..."

"Then we'll come in," Stillman finished in a low voice.

"Yeah, boss."

The lieutenant rubbed his tired eyes.

"I told you once, Scotty. You do what you have to do to make sure this guy ends up in lockup." Scotty felt the sting of tears again, and he released a shaky sigh.

"I ain't losin' her to this guy, boss. He ain't gettin' away this time."

* * *

In the living room, Lilly realised that she was completely alone.

"How old are you?" she asked, proud of how controlled her voice sounded. For a moment, John Doe was surprised at the question, but then an evil smile crept onto his face.

"Now, now, Lilly. Don't start turning into a detective now. We were just getting...warmed up."

"How old are you?" she repeated stubbornly. Enragement flitted across his face, and there was just enough of it for Lilly to grab onto.

"You pick the strong ones," she said, hoping that her gut instinct wouldn't let her down, "because you like to take away power. You don't have control, so they can't have it either. And it's what? More of a thrill when they just give up?"

The set of his jaw gave her more of an answer than anything.

"I'm not going to ask you again, Lilly!"

"That's why you're so determined to have me...because without our control, you're nothing."

It was the way the frustration seemed to just melt away that first made her realise her mistake. Her heart sank like a rock plummeting to Earth. He laughed, clapping his hands together.

"That's right! YOU are one of them. You, Lilly, were the first of my projects."

"Projects?" she questioned, hating the waver in her voice.

"Yes. My project to make all you poor little girls happy."

"By killing them?"

"US, LILLY! By killing **us**!" he shouted. He took a moment to control his temper, "You are one of them. Just like Susan, Janie, Kate, Leah..."

"Alright, I get it."

John Doe took a step towards her, reaching into his back pocket and withdrawing a small but dangerous pen knife. The blade glinted in his hand.

"I want you to scream," he said. Lilly bit her lower lip, stoically keeping silent. He glared at her, brandishing the knife in her direction.

"Scream!" he demanded. Lilly shook her head. His face was slowly turning purple, and the detective stifled a cry of fear at the rage in his eyes. "SCREAM!"

"No," she whispered, her voice trembling uncertainly. He lunged for her suddenly, the knife nicking her arm. Lilly stifled a cry of pain, and with a well aimed kick to her assailant's leg, she sent him flying back against the wall. She raised her gun, swallowing hard. Keeping her gun trained on him, she peered around at the blood staining her sleeve.

"It looks like Ice Queens really do bleed," John Doe mocked, his eyes glinting menacingly. Lilly flicked the safety catch off her gun, breathing heavily. John smirked at her, and she pressed the gun more forcibly against his chest.

"Go ahead, Lilly," he hissed, "do us all a favour."

Her finger slid around the trigger, her hands trembling.

"John Doe, you're under arrest for..." she began in a halting voice. He chuckled evilly.

"I have to say, Lilly, I did expect you to catch up with me a lot faster. Maybe if you hadn't have been so...preoccupied, with your partner, those little girls wouldn't have been lost."

"Shut up," she said. John reached a hand towards her, and she stifled a soft cry, feeling his fingers trail up her outstretched arm.

"They were so lovely, Lilly. So lovely and...young. You must be passed thirty now. Ever think about settling down?"

"Shut up!" she shouted.

"You must want children of your own, Lilly. They'd be so beautiful..."

"SHUT UP!" she screamed. He laughed again, watching her shaking fingers tighten around the trigger.

"What are you waiting for, Lilly?" he shouted in reply. Tears dripped from her cheeks. Lilly stared at him, the barrel of her gun digging into his chest. John shook his head.

"You're nothing but a little girl, incapable of loving anybody," he sneered. A spark flickered and died in her eyes, and she lined the weapon up with his forehead. Her finger pressed down lightly on the trigger. All it would take was a little bit more pressure, just a little bit, a little bit more...

"Don't do it, Lilly," came the soft voice from behind her.

She froze, turning her head slightly, but all the while making sure her eyes never left the man she had pinned to the wall.

"Scotty?"

He moved around into her line of sight, his own weapon held at the ready.

"What are you doin'?" he asked gently. Lilly blinked, the soft tears creeping from her eyelids and flowing down her cheek.

"I have to...he...I have to, Scotty. He..."

"Not like this, Lil."

Scotty watched her grip on the gun falter. John Doe laughed softly, his eyes flicking between the two detectives.

"Looks like I was wrong, Lilly. Maybe you're not incapable of love. Just unused to it."

Scotty could see the tiny sliver of doubt, worming its way through her defences and lodging in her mind. And suddenly, without any hesitation, the male detective knew that he had to act fast, and it seemed for the moment that John Doe was going to let him have his chance.

"Lilly, listen to me," Scotty said quietly.

Lilly's eyes flicked uncertainly between the two men, one of them tearing her heart into pieces, the other desperately trying to piece them back together. Scotty recognised a flicker of something in her eyes, and found the courage to speak.

"I ain't sayin' we got an easy ride, 'cause nothin' we do is easy, an' I ain't about to propose or anythin', but...you know, don't you? You know as well as I do that we got this...this thing, an' I ain't lettin' it go."

They all stood in silence for a moment, waiting, watching...hoping. The silence stretched on for what seemed like hours, and John Doe's eyes flicked between the detectives in a mixture of rage, confusion and curiosity. Eventually, Lilly straightened, her hands grasping the handgun in newfound resolve.

"Put your hands behind your head," she said quietly, her voice holding more strength than it had for a long time.

"Make me," the man spat. Her eyes darkening to navy, Lilly raised the barrel to rest under his chin.

"I said...put your hands behind your head," she repeated slowly. John nodded against the gun, swallowing back a laugh.

"I have to say, Lilly. It's been a real pleasure messing with you. We must meet up again sometime," he leered, "to finish what we started."

Everything seemed to happen at once. John Doe pushed the blonde detective back, lunging for the gun, Scotty hurtled forwards to pull his partner backwards, and then two shots rang out.

It all went silent. The body hit the floor with a thump, blood pooling around it.

* * *

Stillman stopped outside apartment 218. Jeffries stood the other side of the doorway, Vera just behind him.

"What did Scotty say?" the burly detective murmured. Stillman checked his gun, looking back down the hall.

"We wait."

"I called an ambulance," Jeffries said softly, "they're on their way."

"No sirens, right?"

"Lights only, boss."

Vera smirked slightly.

"So what do you think is goin' on wit' those two anyway?"

"I'm pretty certain I don't want to know," Stillman muttered. Jeffries chuckled, his gun at the ready.

"No chance of that happenin'."

"$30 says it already has," Vera retorted.

"You're on."

All bets were temporarily forgotten as two shots were heard from inside Scotty's apartment. The three men looked at each other.

"Scotty said to break the door down when we heard shots, right?" Vera growled, cocking his weapon. Stillman stood back, raising a foot to kick the door down.

"I just hope we're not too late."

They burst through the door, weapons drawn, and stopped short in the doorway, their eyes wide in dread. Lilly gave them a small smile.

"Knock knock," she said. The three men breathed a sigh of relief, earning a chuckle from Scotty.

"We heard shots. You guys OK?" Jeffries asked anxiously. Lilly and Scotty exchanged glances.

"You gotta give 'em credit for tryin'," Scotty murmured. Lilly sighed, gesturing over her shoulder. Stillman followed her gaze, and his eyes widened at the pair of legs visible behind the sofa.

"Is he…?" Vera asked uncertainly. She shook her head.

"No. Might need a doctor, though," she said casually. Scotty felt a smirk tug at the corner of his mouth. Jeffries glared down at the man lying prone on the floor, kicking him slightly.

"He's taken two, boss. One to the shoulder, the other to the kneecap."

"What happened?" Stillman asked.

"I missed," Lilly replied vaguely, handing her weapon to her boss. Jeffries raised his eyebrows, and Vera couldn't help but grin at the evasiveness on her face.

"So who is he?"

"He's..." Lilly began, before pausing. "He's nobody."

"Did we get a confession?"

"Not exac..."

"Yeah, boss," Scotty interrupted. Lilly stared at him in confusion.

"Scotty..." she began softly. He ignored her.

"I heard it, boss. He confessed. Might have to beat it out of him again, though."

Catching the surprise on her face, Jeffries raised an eyebrow.

"Confessed? For what?" he asked curiously. Scotty glanced at his partner, noticing the pink tinge spreading across her cheeks.

"Everythin'," he replied casually. Stillman studied Lilly for a moment, watching an unreadable emotion appear in her eyes.

"Everything?" he questioned suspiciously. The blonde detective hesitated for a moment, before nodding slowly. Vera's cough drew their attention towards the window, and the burly detective craned his neck to look out onto the fire escape.

"I'm gonna go see how he got in."

As soon as he had disappeared onto the balcony, Stillman and Jeffries turned to their younger colleagues.

"Are you sure you're alright, Lil?" the lieutenant asked. She smiled slightly, nodding her head. The glance she cast in Scotty's direction wasn't lost on either of the older men, and they hid knowing smiles.

"I think I'll be fine, boss," Lilly replied after a moment. Vera, who had been uncharacteristically quiet for far too long, suddenly reappeared in the living room, grinning like a dog that had got the biggest bone.

"Hey, Lil?" he said casually.

"Yes?"

"Why are you wearin' Valens' shirt?"

Her mouth floundered, and Scotty shifted uncomfortably.

"Well, uh...you see, uh..."

Vera grinned, wiggling his eyebrows at Stillman and Jeffries.

"You two owe me thirty bucks."

* * *

Love it or hate it, there it is. Now, I just wanna say a **HUGE** thank you to:

karizmadreamer, aeternus aenigma, Ebony10, Foxx Rush, Rhonda Roo, fbi-woman, BananaXPancakes, lulubell16, princesshikari99, Lilly-Scotty, LME, JordynMM, ViolaLucien, greyslostwho, svuaddiction and PatryTrusky

BTW, those names were in no particular order, so don't go running to Mommy because Aunt Amoeba loves her more, OK? Maybe on your way out you could hit the review button? Thanks!

* * *


End file.
